120-Page Monster

All I Want for Christmas

2008-12-17T13:01:00.005-05:00

A couple of years ago, I did a little game on here just before the holidays. My family kept asking, as they do every year, what I want for Christmas. And every year, the answer is always the same: "I have no idea."

So, once again, I cast my Christmas gift fate to the winds of the Internets. Here's what I really want, according to Google, Yahoo, and MSN:

Alan wants a jet boat.
...that doubles as a flying car with an annoyingly repetitive theme song...

Alan wants a Churro!
...¡y él ahora lo quiere, perra!...

Alan wants a first-rate plan.
...for a third-rate bank job...

Alan wants a family that would help him stay in touch with his foster parents.
...tonight at 8:00, only on Lifetime®...

Alan wants a practical system that warns people in the most obvious way, because TeX has this curious blind spot.
...maybe something involving a diesel truck horn...

Alan wants a burger in half an hour.
...because churros aren't very filling...

To make shopping easy on your loved ones this year, simply have them type in "[your first name] wants a" and see what you get under your tree. And as with any blog game, let the tagging begin. Shell, Lydia, Dave, WriterDad...consider yourselves "it".

An Ounce of Behavior

2008-12-04T16:40:00.012-05:00

If you ask anyone about the most memorable part of their favorite film, many will mention a great line of dialogue. All of us are able to quote a few well-loved lines from classic movies, good or bad. Monty Python fans are phenomenally good at this. We spout off the line and smiling heads nod in synchronous recollection. A well-remembered line of dialogue cuts to the center of mutual appreciation of a particular film. When we try and explain a favorite moment of action, however, we end up meandering down a crooked path of personal interpretations that the other party may or may not share. That's because we all see a scene in our own way. We see the same scene, but we each remember different moments and we remember them through our own emotional filters. Dialogue is literal; it can be printed in black and white and everyone hears exactly the same words, no matter how many people watch it. However, the way in which we interpret a line or an exchange of several lines varies greatly. And that can affect our basic understanding of the story's main plot points.

Take the famous scene from Gone With The Wind in which Rhett leaves Scarlett for the last time with his now famous line, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." While I might think that Rhett did the right thing and Scarlett got exactly what she deserved, you, on the other hand, may consider Rhett's departure a cruel abandonment. It's all dependent on each viewer's emotional individuality outside the realm of the film's story.

Okay. Time for a quick explanation. See the handsome gentleman in the photo? He is Don Biehn, an acting professor from the ECU Theatre Arts department back in the mid 1980s. Don, who is currently enjoying what I hear is a great retirement, had the most intense focus of any professor I've ever had. He had some great sayings, which he posted on the classroom walls. And if you look over his left shoulder, you can spot one of my favorites.

"An ounce of behavior is worth a pound of words."

Don is a firm believer that what a character does is infinitely more important that what he says. You can have all the great dialogue you want – really catchy, witty, memorable stuff – but if the behavior behind it isn't honest and real, then the scene loses its believability and truthfulness.

This is pretty heavy stuff for actors; it puts the responsibility for the emotional element of the film squarely in their hands. But where does that leave the screenwriter? Aren't we tasked to come up with dialogue? Aren't we supposed to breathe life into our characters and give them the gift of intelligent speech? Isn't the writer – the person responsible for creating the story, the characters, and the action – the most important element of the film?

Not really. Ask the average moviegoer who uttered the classic line, "Here's looking at you, kid." Easy question, right? Now ask him who wrote it. You'll probably get a shrug, followed by, "No idea." It's not because Julius Epstein was a forgettable writer. The screenplay for Casablanca is considered by many to be probably the most perfect screenplay ever written. We usually don't remember the writer because when we watch a film, we gain the most understanding by our comprehension of the visuals.

Try this: Take a random scene from a film you've never seen before. First, try just listening to it without watching it. Only the audio. See if you can figure out what's happening in the scene using only the dialogue. Now, reverse it. Watch another part of the film, but this time with the sound muted. If you're like most people, you'll understand the meaning of a scene much easier by watching it because our minds are trained to look to a person's face and body language for understanding. In fact, when I tried just listening to a scene, I found myself picturing the actors in my mind, imagining their facial expressions as the scene progressed. We can hear all the dialogue from a film but it just doesn't ring true for us unless we can see the actors as they speak it and react to it.

Take, for example, the first fifteen minutes of the film There Will Be Blood. There is no dialogue at all. However, we still are able to learn the complete backstory of Dainel Planview and his son. After an accident claims the life of one of his co-workers, there is a moment where Daniel stands before the man's orphaned son, sizing up what to do with him. You can just see the wheels of thought on his face. He's scheming a future for himself as "family man" running a "family business" – a man people will admire and want to invest their money in. No dialogue needed.

Film producers and screenwriting teachers all say the same thing when a script is considered to be too dialogue-heavy: "Don't tell me. Show me."

It's the balance of action and dialogue that defines a film. I think most films fall easily into one (sometimes two) of three categories: Action, character-driven, and excessively intellectual. Now, before you throw a bucket of popcorn at me, let me explain each one:

Action: An action film is typically sparse in dialogue, allowing action to move the story along. Watch a Michael Bay film. Within the first few minutes, you'll probably stop caring about what the characters are saying in favor of the sheer thrill of seemingly non-stop action.

Character-driven: A character-driven piece usually features more dialogue than action, however, the dialogue only serves to spark the characters into an emotional reaction with one another. A good indie film will usually fall into this category, not only because of an artistic preference of characters' emotional exchange over raw action, but because a limited budget prohibits a lot of stunts and special effects.

Excessively Intellectual: These are films that feature very little action, very little meaningful character interaction, but an extraordinary amount of pretentious pseudo-analytical dialogue. Just a bunch of intellectuals sitting around talking. Henry Jaglom, you know who you are.

These three classifications are, of course, very different. They contain decidedly varying balances of action and dialogue and, in the case of the third example, not much of a balance at all. While the first two examples stand successfully on their own, a really great film might combine heavy action and character-driven dialogue.

In the end, I think characters' actions are responsible for our emotional understanding of a film. Dialogue gives us, the audience, the logical grounding for the explanations of a character's behavior. But the behavior itself is what really connects us on a human level. We have to believe in what the characters are doing to themselves and each other – and we have to know that what they're doing is truthful and real.

This all makes perfect sense while watching a film, but what about while writing one? As screenwriters, how do we get emotionally rich characters onto our pages? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Take an acting class. A good acting workshop will help you more fully understand the emotional exchange between characters. The Meisner technique is particularly good at this, since it focuses more on a spontaneous moment-to-moment emotional relationship between characters.

2. Trash the dialogue. Try getting rid of all the dialogue in your script. Do you still have a basic idea of what's going on by reading only the action? If not, you probably have too much dialogue.

3. It's not what you do, it's what the other person makes you do. This is another great "Meisnerism". A character's emotional state shouldn't originate from his own state, but rather the state that his interaction with the other character puts him in. It's just basic cause and effect. You're emotionless until an outside force triggers your emotion.

4. Place characters in emotionally charged situations before the scene starts. Make sure your characters enter the scene coming from someplace that affects them. The husband isn't just coming home from the store after buying milk; he's coming home from the store where he ran into his ex-wife. If a character is already in the scene at the start, decide what she was doing before the scene starts. Maybe she's folding laundry. But she's not just folding laundry, of course – she's folding laundry after getting a phone call from a friend regarding her husband. Now, that's going to be a highly charged scene.

5. Give your character a difficult and emotionally charged task. Don't just have your character cooking dinner. He's cooking an elaborate Japanese meal to surprise his wife for their anniversary, hoping it will help revive their failing marriage – and she's due home in 10 minutes. Amazing things can happen when a character distracts another character who is doing something difficult at the last minute.

6. Act it out. Grab a willing partner and try acting out the scene. Be aware of what the other person is making you do. Look for moments when the action doesn't seem to have any emotional basis. Sometimes it's hard to tell when those moments occur so try getting a third person to stop the action and ask one of you, "What is he making you want to do?"

Once you've given your characters a strong emotional base for their actions, you'll have a story that is more believable and truthful. The kind of story we humans can truly relate to.

A Block of Granite

2008-11-12T13:50:00.001-05:00

From today's NaNoWriMo pep talk email:

"You know how hard it is to get granite out of the quarry? You have to carefully score the rock and put the explosive in to make the great granite block break loose from the face of the stone. Then you have to attach the block to the chains so that the cranes can lift it slowly out of the hole a nd put it on the waiting truck. That’s the first draft. It’s hard, dangerous work, and when you’ve finished, all you’ve really got is a block of stone. But now you have something now to work on. Now you can take your block down to the shed to carve and polish it and turn it into something of beauty. That’s revision."

– Katherine Paterson, author of Bridge to Terabithia

Great advice on not killing yourself over a bad first draft.

The 50,000-Word Monster

2008-11-10T15:13:00.008-05:00

It's November. The weather gets brisk, the leaves turn those lovely colors I look forward to every year, and families join together in love and fellowship.

Thanksgiving? Nah. It's NaNoWriMo!

While we were basking in a nice afternoon on a family outing, one of Shell's friends, Lydia, mentioned that she had signed up for this year's NaNoWriMo. The National Novel Writing Month is a group event that challenges participants to write an entire novel in only 30 days. You can do all the research and prep work you want before November 1st, but you're only allowed to actually write it during the month of November. Not the best month to pick for writing a novel, but I think it's an absolutely fantastic idea, on which I'll elaborate in a minute.

Apparently Shell also thought this was a great idea. I knew this because after Lydia explained it, she sat bolt upright and said, "Wow! What a great idea. I think I'll do it, too." She's been wanting to write a western and I think she'd do a fantastic job of it. She has a keen sense of the genre and knows what makes a good tale of the old West. I guess she just needed the peer pressure to get to the liftoff stage.

And that's exactly what gives the NaNoWriMo concept its mojo. Peer pressure. The way it works is this: you register for a free account on the NaNoWriMo site, then enter some details about the book you plan to write. You actually start writing your pages no earlier than 12:00am November 1st. Once you begin writing, you post your progress on the site by entering your current word count. As an added bonus, you can create writing buddy lists -- friends who, like you, are trying to finish their books before the 30-day deadline. Basically, it's the same buddy system that makes Weight Watchers and AA work so well. It's called public commitment.

When you set a goal for yourself and keep it to yourself, it's remarkably easy to procrastinate, fudge the deadline, or just drop the project altogether. You piddle away at it for a bit then get stuck on something like a story issue or a problem with character motivation -- or your own motivation. So you walk away, returning a week later just to delete your weak attempt and move on to something else you'll likely abandon later. But tell a few people what you're working on and you've created outside interest. You've made an audience. Someone else is now looking forward to one day reading your work. Go one step further and tell them your deadline and you really have someone to answer to. They're expecting you to finish and they want to see pages on a certain date. And if they really care about your project, they'll ask you for updates along the way.

"How many pages have you done?"

"Do you think you'll be done by the 30th?"

"Two weeks left? You'd better get cracking, slacker."

Annoying? Yep. But the folks at NaNoWriMo have made the journey a little more enjoyable with things like local "pep rallies" and encouraging emails. And if, like me, you prefer screenwriting, their sister site, Script Frenzy, offers the same kind of group support to get you to a completed screenplay in 30 days. Unfortunately, the annual Script Frenzy event starts in April so all you screen scribes will have to wait. Or maybe not.

Even if writing a novel isn't your bag, you can still participate in a publicly committed writing project. Just plan out a story, tell a few friends what you're up to, and get to work. Be sure to give yourself a deadline - two weeks, thirty days, three months. Pick a time span in which you think you can reasonably finish a script and hack some time off of it. You don't have to wait for some web site to tell you to start. Remember, it's peer pressure and the challenge of a tight deadline that gets you moving.

Now, I've never had the urge (or the cojones) to write a novel, but I'm giving it a shot, even though I'm starting really late in the game. I have a great script idea and wanted to try developing it as a treatment first. A really long treatment. Here's hoping we meet on the other side of our deadlines with something truly awesome.

Losing It All

2008-10-06T00:57:00.007-04:00

Many writers have long professed a love of writing in the morning. Sitting down in the wee hours of the dawn with nothing but a coffee and some thoughts. Oh, and a computer. For some, it takes a lot to get motivated to become early writers. Not me. Once I'm out of bed, I'm ready to go. It's the getting out of bed part that's tough. I mean, emotionally tough. Sometimes, I actually get a bit weepy when the alarm goes off, but as soon as my feet hit the cold floor, the anxiety goes away.

Most people write in the morning because it's typically a time of uninterrupted bliss. I have four children so morning writing time is truly a treat whenever I can get it. But since I usually take the bus to the office, I crack open the laptop on the back row and tap away. Luckily, my college actor training gives me the ability to block out all the commotion found on a city bus.

Wednesday, I spent the entire ride home writing some great material. I mean this was stuff that was really getting me choked up. I had just saved it and written a few more lines when the battery went dead and the laptop shut off. Deep in the throes of writing, I wasn't keeping track of the power meter, so the sudden loss of power wasn't expected. But I had definitely saved my work and had written just a few more lines before the portable blackout.

Since I was working on a new series of essays, I wasn't using my usual favorite writing tool, Celtx. Instead, I was writing in OpenOffice Writer. I'm a huge fan of open source software and typically opt for it if it's designed well and does what I need. And since OpenOffice does practically everything Microsoft Word does, it seemed like a natural choice.

Now, with all its fantastical features, OpenOffice has this hemorrhoid of a feature called Document Recovery. What's supposed to happen in the event of an in-writing meltdown is this: When you power back up and start OpenOffice, it asks you if you want it to try and recover the data you lost. Then it looks through some kind of temp file and adds it into the most recently saved version. What should have happened is that it should have recovered the few lines I didn't get a chance to save as well as the parts that I did save.

What I got instead was nothing. Nada. Zipperooni. It gave me the same material I started with the day before. It was as though Wednesday's bit of literary brilliance never existed.

I actually felt sick to my stomach. I've tried to sum up the emotional state this put me in and the best I can come up with is this: It was like saving up $5,000 to buy a white rug, getting it home, and having the dog take a runny dump all over it.

I know that sounds pretty bad, but here's the worst part. When I opened the laptop to try to rewrite it, I discovered that I was still so upset that I couldn't even look at the part I left off with two days before.

I'm sure you've had something similar happen to your own writing and if you haven't, you certainly will one day. And it will happen to the best bit of writing you'll do. And you'll be pissed. And you'll get the same lump in your stomach. And you won't feel like working on it again because you know that the stuff you lost was infinitely better than anything you could ever come up with again.

But instead of giving up and walking away from it, try taking a day off from it. Give the ideas you had and lost a chance to work themselves up again and come back. For me, the music I was listening to while writing brought it all back to me. For you, it may be something else. The place you were in. The time of day you were writing before. If you were that upset about losing your work, then you know it's worth coming back to.

And if you manage to take away any lesson from my misfortune, let it be to always check your battery.

Time Mining

2008-09-03T20:41:00.008-04:00

Not so very long ago, the "big studio" system used to stick writers in a room with a typewriter, reams of paper, and little else. Like monkeys in a cage. At least that's what I've heard. I imagine there wasn't much a writer could do in such a circumstance but...write.

Now, with everyone being plugged in and logged on, today's writer faces a threat to his very creativity and attention -- the massive time-suck known as the Internet.

Between life, work, email, instant messaging, social networking, and mind-numbing slack-jawed web browsing, keeping your head in the game is absolutely impossible sometimes. I know you're reading this thinking, "Not me, brother. I have that Mr. Miyagi kind of focus." But even you, sensei, can fall victim at any time.

Merlin Mann, offers a simple solution that socks you right in the nose as soon as your web browser pops to life. Leo Babauta of ZenHabits has a few additional tips for keeping your dreams on track. (And believe me, you'll want to check out the other random bits of coolness on both of these sites.)

Since a lot of these suggestions are good for just about any task you happen to face, I thought I'd offer six simple time-making ideas specifically for writers. Are some of them tough to do? Sure. Do I do all of them? Not all, but some. At least it's a start.

1. Set a deadline. Even if it has no real-life monetary significance, you can invent a circumstance where your family's survival depends on getting that draft done on time. Hey, you're a writer...make it exciting.

2. Put the desktop on the deskbottom. Having all those reminders, pingers, and alerts flashing like a marquee across your screen can easily send you into an ADD nosedive. Applications like JDarkroom and Writeroom let you hide everything except your writing screen. These are two splendid tools that black out the desktop, leaving you with nothing but a lean word processor and your awesomeness.

3. Make down time the write time. Stuck in traffic? Pull out a pad and pen and get some stuff on paper. Got time to kill on the bus? Pull out the laptop and get tapping. I take the bus to the office, so I already have four allocated hours of me-time that I can spend reading, writing, or thinking about story ideas.

4. Rise and shine. This one's a no-brainer and has been covered by other screenbloggers out there, but it makes perfect sense. If you want more hours in your day, create them. My day typically starts at 5:00 am, and while I'm usually more in a mood to punch a rooster in the mouth than write, it's uninterrupted time I wouldn't have otherwise. NOTE: I've found that a 20-minute nap in the afternoon (Pzizz is great for this) does wonders for your mental state and keeps you from sleep-deprived insanity.

5. Group therapy. Sometimes, a little peer pressure is a wonderful thing. Except when it involves jumping off something or tequila. When you don't feel like writing, get others to give you a pedal to the posterior. Writers groups keep you writing because on one wants to show up at another meeting with no pages to show. Find one in your area and join. No groups around? Start one.

6. Kill your television. Go ahead. Unplug it. Sell it. There's nothing on anyway.

7. It's up to you. I'm leaving this one blank because this list is all about making time for YOU. Now, close this and go write.

Making Progress

2008-08-27T11:52:00.007-04:00

One of my favorite screenwriting bloggers, Dave Anaxagoras, recently updated his blog. Changed the design, the categories, revamped the entire thing. It really looks fantastic now and is much easier to get around. Unfortunately, he seems to have dumped some pretty good articles during the transition. One of those lost posts explained how to create a progress bar that you can easily use on your own site to track your writing. And if you're not a writer, you can use it to track the progress of just about anything else. If you look over to the right, you'll see mine. They let others know not only what I'm working on, but the varying degrees of productivity -- or procrastination. C'mon, you all know how that goes.

The progress bar is über-easy to set up. And if you know even a little CSS and HTML, it's that much easier. Here's the code, followed by the inevitable explanation...

CSS:


.prog-border {
height: 17px;
width: 205px;
background: #113355;
border: 1px solid silver;
margin: 0;
padding: 0;
}

.prog-bar {
height: 13px;
margin: 2px;
padding: 0px;
background: #C9DDEC;
color: #113355;
font-size: 12px;
text-align: center;
line-height: 13px
}

HTML:


<div class="prog-border">
<div style="width: 75%;" class="prog-bar"><em>75%</em></div>
</div>

First, add the CSS code to your current CSS style definition, which should be found either in the header of the page's code or in a separate file. You can also change the colors to match your site if you feel the need.

Then, paste the HTML wherever you want the bars to appear. When you're ready to update your progress, simply change the percentages in the bar's HTML code. (The version I have here has a slight issue with the bar width once you get to 100%...and you WILL get to 100%, right? When the bar width is set to 100%, it extends past the frame. So, I use a 98% width to show a nice and neat 100% bar.)

And there you have it. Now you can proudly display the fruits of your never ending labor to the world. Oh, and when you're done, be sure to visit Earl Newton's excellent collection of short films, Stranger Things...He's the one who asked me about the progress bars.

The Six Things

2008-08-04T14:09:00.005-04:00

meme |mēm|
n. an element of a culture or system of behavior that may be considered to be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means, esp. imitation.

My wife, who has a great blog that blows mine out of the water, asked me the other day what a meme is. Since I spend a good amount of my time online, I knew some examples of popular memes -- Chocolate Rain, Diet Coke + Mentos, The Numa Numa guy...the list goes on ad infinitum. However, I couldn't come up with a concise definition of one.

So, to better help me understand the concept of memes, my darling spouse has seen fit to tag me with the infamous "Six Things" blog meme. And not one to be a party pooper, here goes...

Six Things People (Generally) Don't Know About Me:

1. I knit. Let's get that one out there now. I don't knit often, nor do I do it very well, but I do knit.

2. I almost dropped out of college in favor of culinary school to become a chef.

3. The only film I've ever had to hide my eyes from was Jaws.

4. My friends and I used to play baseball in a cemetery. First base was the grave marker for an 11-year-old boy. I always thought of him as part of the team.

5. I was the one who loosened all the bolts on Eric Costello's bike.

6. I'm still embarrassed by the horribly awful John Fogerty impression in a college acting class. Only a handful of you know that.

There you have it. And to make sure I don't get to have all the fun to myself, I've tagged Dave Anaxagoras, WriterDad, Joel Haber, ScreenwriterGuy, Will Martell, and Andy Coughlan.

On Writing: A Review

2008-07-31T10:00:00.004-04:00

As the final section of Stephen King's "edutaining" book On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft came to a regrettable close, I was struck head-on with the sudden urge to sit down and write. Anything. I just wanted to put something on paper. My head was swimming. And believe me, when a storyteller of King's caliber is finished with you, you'll want to write, too.

Now, I normally don't need to be coaxed into writing, but I've always had one weakness as a writer and it's the same fear that cripples most every person at some point in their lives — the fear of failure.

I would sometimes — usually the closer I got to the end of the first draft — feel like the stuff I was writing was complete bullshit. Like my fraudulent attempts would rat me out as a hack. But for this, Stephen King has a solution: Fuck fear. Shut the door and just sit down and do it.

On Writing is a how-to in two very distinct parts which, after a while, start to blend into a pretty good life lesson. Parts of the book chronicle King's struggles as a young writer, overcoming a lower-class childhood and subsequent years of substance abuse. And then there's the infamous accident. The one that almost killed both him and his writing career. But these passages aren't merely bio-fluff. He uses his own backstory to illustrate the things every writer needs to keep going — Passion, determination, discipline, love, and a healthy refusal to heed unwanted naysaying advice.

The other parts of the book are devoted to the process and mechanics of good writing. What to do, what not to do. You'll want to read this section a few times over. There are so many great nuggets of wisdom in there that I can't list them all here. And why would I? You'd really be missing out if you don't read the book, and you'd really kick yourself if you don't listen to the audio version of this book. King narrates it himself, at times coming across like the little cartoon devil that sits on your shoulder, egging you on. “You know you want to write, don't you. So go ahead. Nobody's stopping you.”

Here are a few of my favorite highlights:

Always be truthful in your writing.
Get rid of adverbs — as many as you can stand to part with.
Write the first draft with the door closed; write the second draft with the door open.
Equal parts writing and reading is the best training for a writer.
Make sure you have a well-stocked toolbox before you sit down to write. (The tools? I'll just say Strunk & White's Elements of Style is in the top tray. You'll have to read the book to find out the rest.)

I've never read any of Stephen King's novels. Seen the movies, but never read the books. And, truth be told, I've never really considered writing a novel myself. After reading On Writing, however, I just may have to read a couple of his works. And maybe, just maybe, thanks to Stephen's kind advice, I'll try writing one, too.

Stephen King: On Writing

2008-07-28T14:52:00.005-04:00

I just started listening to Stephen King's On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. I'm only on the first chapter, but it's already completely enjoyable. He goes into detail about the events in his life that shaped him as an artist, as well as some essential advice for writers of all levels.

I'll post a full review once I'm done.

Baby Got Backup

2008-07-10T05:43:00.005-04:00

Every writer with an overabundance of mushy grey stuff in their head knows that the words they write are golden. Even the stuff that will eventually get the red pen is worth saving, because in the end, the mountain of success you're standing on is actually a big steaming pile of mistakes.

Since most writers have now forgone pen and paper for a screen and a keyboard, having a reliable file backup system is not only crucial, it's job security. Of course, you could just dump your docs onto an external drive every couple of days, but when you need to go back to find a passage you deleted three versions ago, you're stuck.

That's why a version control system is such a great idea for writers. Typically, version control systems have been the mainstay of software programmers because being able to track the modifications among many versions of a file makes collaborative development infinitely less stressful. But writers need a similar system. That scene you axed last week could find new life if it were simply moved to a different part of the story. But since you've deleted it, it's gone. And after a week's worth of banging out page after page, there's no way you could recreate it.

Luckily, Rachel Greenham has laid out a great file management tutorial for writers of any type and genre. It uses an open-source system called Subversion that tracks complete information about every version of a file, from the modification date to any changes from a previous version. You can even add comments to the version record, in case you want to tag it with an idea without having to write it in the actual file.

The tutorial is primarily written for Mac users, however similar solutions are available for you Windows users as well. Also, bear in mind that setting up this system requires you to let your geek flag fly, but hey...you're a writer. I'm sure you can figure it out!

George Carlin: R.I.P.

2008-06-23T08:04:00.006-04:00

Damn. First Sydney Pollack, now another of my favorite performers has passed away. But George Carlin, who died yesterday, wasn't just a performer. The man was a walking middle finger in the face of a close-minded establishment. From his rants on child safety to the classic Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television, Carlin knew what buttons to push to get us thinking and reacting to what was going on around us -- and most often, to us.

Here's a few samples of the man at work: (WARNING: NSFW...or children)

On children:

On germs:

On the ruling elite:

Thanks for thinking out loud, George. We'll miss you.

Read My Wife...Please!

2008-06-18T14:36:00.005-04:00

Okay, I don't know if she's doing this to make me look like a total slacker (not difficult, I assure you), but Shelley, my wife, has started a blog and it's already kicking butt! It's called Eclectic Eccentricities, Etc. and it's all about our family's adventures, with a generous helping of her brilliant philosophipolitical musings. So, if you ever wonder why I haven't posted here in a while, check over there and you'll probably find out.

In her inaugural post, Shell discusses the concept of SOS. Not the distress call, but Shiny Object Syndrome.

"Shiny Object Syndrome (SOS) is the art of being right in the middle of a great project when something new, fun, and alluring comes along. At that point, the 'old' project becomes boring, mundane, etc. You long for that new project. You fantasize about it. Finally, you give in."

I can say both from experience and from talking with other writers that SOS can quickly derail your current project. In fact, I'm going through this right now. I've been at kind of at a sticking point with Left of the Dial for the past few weeks. So, I'm shelving it for a while. In the meantime, I'm going to start on a sci-fi script that Shell and I have been knocking about for years. It's based on a short story and has an incredibly cool hook. More about that...in the future.

But, I wonder...is it wrong to drop my current script in favor of this "shiny object"? I'd have to say yes and here's why: The new story is so enticing and attractive to me at this particular moment that it's providing me the momentum to crank through all the mind-sucking pre-writing tasks, such as research, story development, outlining, etc. I figure if I can remain jazzed enough about it, I'll be in good shape when the actual script writing comes around.

It's not that Left of the Dial wasn't an attractive story. It's just that I've hit some walls with it and I need to distance myself from it for a while so I can come back to it with a clear and non-biased viewpoint.

So, what am I waiting for? Get writing, me!

A Break and Sydney Pollack

2008-05-27T08:01:00.004-04:00

First, just wanted to let everyone know I'm still around. I've been completely slammed with work and family goings-on, but have some new things planned for the blog, so stay tuned.

Second, one of my favorite actors passed away yesterday evening. Sydney Pollack was a classic triple-threat: director, producer, and actor. I've always loved watching him on screen - he always had an air of being completely in control, most recently as the cool-headed legal eagle in Michael Clayton. Of course, his portrayal of Dustin Hoffman's agent in Tootsie was an equally great performance.

Left of the Dial: Still In the Oven

2008-03-18T19:41:00.006-04:00

I've always thought of myself as a very patient person. My wife even accuses me of being patient. I don't stress out in traffic, I don't need to buy the whatever-it-is right away, and I don't even mind having to stand in a line once in a while.

I always thought that my collectedness applied to my writing as well. However, after posting what I thought was a pretty decent version of Left of the Dial to Triggerstreet, I'm finding out that the opposite is true.

I waited for eight or nine reviews to trickle in -- see, patience -- before I assessed the outcome. I thought the suggested changes would be somewhat minimal, but I was completely shocked to learn that:

1. The story was almost completely devoid of conflict. How the hell did that happen? I thought there was plenty going on in there. However, the overwhelming consensus was that the main character, Tom, had nothing on the line, nothing to fight for, and nothing to lose. And they're absolutely right.

2. The female lead was introduced too late. Yep, I'll give them that one. Jackie, Tom's love interest, doesn't show up until page 40. Too late for the reader to care about what happens with her and waaaaay too late for Tom to hold an interest in her.

In short, I rushed the story, I rushed putting it up on Triggerstreet for review, and as a result, I have critiques on a broken story that should never have been submitted. I've since been amping up the tension and conflict in the story and have vowed not to resubmit it until I've checked it and asked myself, "Why should I care about this?" and "What's he fighting for?"

Thankfully, John August addresses this problem with his usual wit and expertise.

On The Page

2008-03-06T11:24:00.008-05:00

If you're like me, you've been wondering why there aren't many good screenwriting podcasts to choose from (except, of course, Creative Screenwriting Magazine's excellent Q&A series and The Grim Reader's informative, but sporadic, episodes). Well, I'm pleased to announce that Pilar Alessandra, script consultant and director of the popular writing program On The Page, has a fantastic weekly podcast just for you.

It's called On The Page (didn't see that one comin', did ya?) and it's for all manner of media writers - film, television, online, everything. Pilar and her co-host, Matt Belknap, a reader for Imagine Entertainment, cover the ins and outs of writing, outlining, story, getting your script seen, and more recently, the business side of writing. Pilar, Matt, and a weekly featured guest also answer listeners' questions, which you can submit to inquire@onthepage.tv.

The best part for me, however, are Pilar's 10-minute writing exercises - quickie assignments that will really push your writing to a new level. Here's a sample:

Episode 9:
Prevent your dialogue from being too "on the nose". Go through your dialogue-driven scenes and replace dialogue that states a feeling out loud with an action that conveys the emotion.

To get a list of past exercises, just email Pilar at inquire@onthepage.tv.

You can subscribe to On The Page in iTunes or, if you use another podcast-catching app, use this link.

Also, if you're in the LA area, you'll definitely want to attend Pilar's classes and workshops. Being on the other coast, I haven't taken them myself, but they come very highly recommended. Check the schedule at OnThePage.tv for more information.

A quick note from Pilar: If you mention 120-Page Monster, she'll take $25 off the registration cost! Thanks, Pilar!

Enjoy!

Finding Inspiration

2008-03-04T14:38:00.002-05:00

Leo Babauta, the mastermind behind Zen Habits, has launched a new site, Write to Done, for writers looking to improve their craft and art.

A recent post covers finding inspiration for your writing. Personally, I usually get the spark at some pretty unexpected moments -- walking to the bus stop, scrubbing a dirty stew pot, or cuddling my 1-year-old into a reluctant nap.

One of my favorites from Leo:

People watching. This is an interesting activity for any writer. Go to a busy public place and just sit and watch people. They’ll amuse you, inspire you, fascinate you. There’s nothing more inspiring than humanity.

So, where do you find the inspirato?

Ira Glass on Storytelling

2008-02-28T15:03:00.006-05:00

This American Life host Ira Glass discusses the elements of storytelling. Enjoy!

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

Oscar Post-Game

2008-02-26T14:59:00.003-05:00

Now that the Oscars are done (Zzzz), I thought I'd share my thoughts about the outcome of the two screenplay awards.

First, of course everyone with body jewelery and a well-worn pair of black canvas Chuck Taylor All-Stars knows that Diablo Cody took home the award for Best Original Screenplay for Juno. And to be honest, I wasn't really surprised. With all the buzz about her past and one-stroke discovery, the media was able to paint a real Cinderella in Tinseltown story. Don't get me wrong, I liked Juno. It was fun to watch, hip in all the right places, and occasionally a character surprised me. Did I think it deserved to win? Probably not. The main beef I had with it was that everyone in the film was written in the same glib, hipster voice. Except for one: Paulie Bleeker. Bleeker seemed to me the most real character in the whole bunch. But nonetheless, I congratulate Cody.

Personally, I was pulling for either Lars and the Real Girl or The Savages in this category. Both were strong scripts and I feel had more depth than Juno.

Best Adapted Screenplay? Didn't read any of them yet so I can't comment at the moment. Maybe in a later post.

Post-Strike: Did We Really Win?

2008-02-21T10:24:00.010-05:00

Now that the strike is over and everyone is licking their wounds and getting back to work, there's something that's been itching my brain lately. Most of the coverage I've heard about the settlement has said that it's a win for the writers as well as a win for the producers. The writers now have permanent access to residuals from online content and the producers can get their moneymaking machine rolling again.

At first glance, the internet content agreement seems like a pretty important victory, especially with services like iTunes and Amazon offering downloads of movies and TV programming, not to mention the monetization of the free episodes (with limited commercial interruption, whatever that means) available online from the major networks. But what percentage of viewers watch episodes and movies online right now? Not much. At least not enough, in my opinion, to justify a strike based so heavily on the internet download issue.

Remember early on, when the DVD residual issue was on the table? Remember when that same issue was withdrawn by the Guild because "[the production] Companies said [it] was a stumbling block"?

A stumbling block? Well, yeah. Duh. That's why you call for a strike. Because of stumbling blocks just like this. At first, the WGA asked for a four cent increase to the existing four cent residual for DVD purchases. But when the AMPTP freaked out over the DVD issue, the Guild did a little freaking of their own and withdrew it, choosing instead to focus on the internet residual issue.

According to Roger Smith in a recent episode of KCRW's The Business, the Guild really missed the boat by championing the internet issue over increased DVD residuals. According to Smith, the estimated revenue from all internet media (including online rentals, online purchases, and ad revenue from online episodes) for the last year of the current contract (2011) is about two billion dollars.

The estimate for future DVD purchase and rental revenues? About 17 billion.

It's a pretty simple assumption that more people are currently purchasing and renting their media on shiny disks rather than shiny computers. Moreover, since the AMPTP was completely unwilling to negotiate with the WGA unless the DVD residual issue was taken off the table, that pretty much shows you where the money is. Nevertheless, you have to at least applaud the Guild's ability to think of the writer's place in future technologies and developments. I just think it's the right victory for the wrong issue at this time.

On a completely different tangent, here's a insider's view of what the producers were working on while the writers were striking.

The When and Where of Writing

2008-02-18T15:00:00.004-05:00

Study Hacks has posted some pretty interesting stats on the basic behavior of writers. Seems that we typically like to write in the morning (around 7 or 8 am) and we like to write in isolation.

Some of the writers stated a staunch preference for putting their writing area far away from their living space, even a ramshackle cabin in the woods in one example. For me, this would be an ideal writing space.

Personally, I do find that I can get a lot of writing done early in the morning, especially on days I take the bus to work. Although I typically sleep in on the weekends, that's a habit of mine I'm planning to change. I figure I could get a few hours done on a Sunday morning easily. I just have to break the weekend habit and just do it...Because the Nicholl deadline is right around the corner.

Light Notebook = Light Wallet

2008-02-07T09:35:00.001-05:00

The recently released MacBook Air promises a lightweight portable that is thin enough to slip into an interoffice envelope. The perfect thing for writers on the go, right?

Wrong.

Sure it's thin, but there's no optical drive, you can't change the battery, and there's no firewire port. And to top it off, it's both slower and more expensive than Apple's basic MacBook, which to me is perfect for writing wherever.

$700 extra for skinny? Count me out.

Write That...Not That...But, Yeah.

2008-02-07T09:22:00.000-05:00

After reading a couple of books from any of the "screenwriting gurus" (I won't mention names. You know who they are.), does anyone else feel like this poor writer?

In a recent episode of Creative Screenwriting Magazine's writers podcast, either the host, Jeff, or one of the writers he was interviewing made an offhand remark that three-act-pushing guru books are basically crap and you should just write using whichever structure or method is right for the story. The audience applauded this wildly.

With so many examples of movies that work, but don't follow the traditionally taught structure, why are the "gurus" still in business?

New Year, New Stuff

2008-01-17T14:55:00.001-05:00

You know, I could start off with my list of New Year's resolutions that will most likely never come to fruition. Or I could start off with a blathering apology for not posting in so long.

Instead, here's a list of things I've come to realize since my last post...

1. There's a reason I don't work from home. It's spelled C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N.

2. Scientology is almost kinda like Buddhism, but with with more bells and whistles...and lights and dials and electrodes and crazy actors. Okay, maybe it's nothing like Buddhism.

3. Good aim is absolutely essential when chopping firewood.

4. Casablanca really is one of the best screenplays ever written. Really.

5. I must never again pick out movies for my wife and me to watch. Bug was a prime example of this rule.

6. My current screenplay needs more conflict. Much more conflict.

7. Bill Forsyth really should start directing again. But only if he can make something as good or better than Local Hero.

8. There are certain days of the week when all the idiotic drivers converge on the road to randomly cut me off. I haven't yet figured out which days these are.

Speechless Campaign

2007-11-27T13:58:00.000-05:00

SpeechlessWithoutWriters has launched an online video ad campaign that shows what movies and TV would be like were it not for the vital pens of writers. A lot of celebrities participated and most of the spots are really good.

My favorite, though, has to be this one from Ed Asner...

Damn, that guy can act!!

Leopard Attack and TV Pilots

2007-11-20T10:22:00.000-05:00

My Thanksgiving present arrived today. (I know...who the hell gets presents at Thanksgiving anyway?) My copy of OSX 10.5 (A.K.A. Leopard) landed on my desk so, like any other pathetic Mac-head, I'm installing it right away.

So far, everything seems to be chugging along happily as I write this from a nearby Windows PC. I've taken great care to back up everything, especially my photos and screenplays, the latter of which are also saved in my Gmail account.

On the screenwriting front, everything is going well. I'm set to work on a third round of rewrites over the holiday weekend. This should be the final big rewrite, with a spit and polish round to follow this one. After that, if all looks solid, I'll pass it around to some people for comments and any notes they feel like giving.

Then it's back to work on the BBC TV pilot. My plan is to simply write the pilot and synopses of some following episodes, just to give the reader an idea of the intended story direction.

That having been said, my question is this: What's the proper procedure for setting up a new TV drama pilot? Just the first episode? Should I write more full episodes? Should I include synopses?

If you've done a TV pilot, how'd the process go for you?

Surfing the Scribosphere

2007-11-19T09:45:00.000-05:00

Andy Caughlan has put together a great (and pretty darned complete) list of screenwriting blogs at his site, Scribomatic. Everyone I can think of is there, including this little ol' blog.

Thanks, Andy!

(via Man Bytes Hollywood)

The Studio Execs Explain It All

2007-11-13T08:52:00.001-05:00

Just in case you were wondering what the writers are in such a tizzy about these days, why not let the studio execs themselves explain it to you.

That was easy. Doesn't it all make sense now?

WGA Strike 101

2007-11-09T12:30:00.000-05:00

Pencils Down.

2007-11-05T11:02:00.000-05:00

Unless you're a writer who's been living under a rock, you already know that the WGA is striking.

If you're a normal person (living under a rock or not), you'll probably never know that the WGA is striking, because apparently the mainstream press doesn't think the story is sexy enough to make much of a deal about it.

Check out this video or this WGA document for a simple explanation of the main issue.

As a non-member who doesn't have any scripts ready to go out, I won't be affected for the time being. But that doesn't mean that I might not be affected in the future. What the guild is fighting for is a writer's fair share in a market that is changing and evolving to include streaming video, downloadable video, and other video delivery technologies that are drastically lowering the distribution costs, thereby raising profits. There is plenty of room for writers to participate in increased profits. In fact, a writer's residual payments are quite often their primary bread-and-butter, paying their mortgages and health insurance and supporting their families when between writing gigs.

While I'm geographically far away from being able to participate in the picket lines, I'd just like to voice my support and solidarity for the pro writers who are hit by this strike.

If I were there, I'd stop by, carry a sign and buy you all coffee and snacks.

Radio, Radio

2007-10-25T13:29:00.000-04:00

Much like Cameron Crowe does while writing, I've been listening to a lot of music while working on Left of the Dial. Not just any old music, but a genre that's specific to the time period of the story: early 80's college radio.

For those of you who miss hearing bands like the Replacements, the DB's, X and R.E.M. (when they actually used to sound like R.E.M.) on your radio, you're in luck...

Check out Radio Hidebound.

I, Meme, Mine

2007-10-24T09:38:00.000-04:00

Okay, folks. It's time for our first meme game on 120-Page Monster...

"Five Films I'm Ashamed To Say I Haven't Seen"

1. Casablanca
Yep. The big one. This one really gets to me. I try to avoid mentioning my ignorance about it, but I promise I'll get around to seeing it soon. Promise. Really.

2. The French Connection
Yeah, I know...killer car chase and cool grittiness. I don't know what I'm missing.

3. Chinatown
Again. I'll get to it. Oh, and tough luck about your nose, Jack...whatever happened to it.

4. Raging Bull
Someone apologize to Deniro for me.

5. Crash
I can't be the only person out there who hasn't see this, can I?

I guess I know what I'll be doing this weekend...

I've tagged Dave, Scott, Julie, Rod, and John...you're it!

The Sea of Holes

2007-10-23T08:39:00.000-04:00

So far, the rewrite of Left of the Dial is going pretty smoothly. It's truly amazing how, when you leave a story alone for a few weeks, the holes appear. Everywhere.

When I was outlining, I thought the flow of the story was pretty tight. One scene just logically moved to the next and so on. But looking at it now, I realize that my outline consisted merely of broad strokes, not the detail that comes as the script is written. And rewritten.

I must admit that before settling in to start the rewrite, I was pretty nervous about the whole affair. However, now that I'm into it, I've found the process to be extremely therapeutic. Like pulling and punching a mound of clay, working it into something that is hopefully approaching attractive. It must be the ex-English teacher in me, but it's surprisingly comforting for me to hack away at this thing, chopping out bad scenes and planting needed ones.

I'm hoping to be done with this initial rewrite by the end of next week, so we'll see how it goes.

Script Cops!

2007-10-15T10:59:00.000-04:00

Their coming for you...* (thanks, John August!)

From Crackle: Script Cops, Ep 1: Domestic Disturbance

From Crackle: Script Cops, Ep 2: McKee Sting

From Crackle: Script Cops, Ep 3: Traffic Stop

* Ironic misspelling intentional

Break Out The Red Pen

2007-10-12T19:09:00.000-04:00

After a two week break from the Left of the Dial script, the rewrite starts today. I printed out the script and put it in a three-ring binder, dropped it in my bag and got onto the bus.

Before I opened it up to start, I decided that I need to approach the thing not as a writer, but solely as an editor. I told myself that it was written by someone else and it was my job to make corrections, story notes and brutally honest suggestions.

Kinda like a reader.

Admittedly, it's a bit difficult to distance myself, but when I can get into that mindset, it's really refreshing. I don't get protective or possessive about it. I just let the red pen do its job.

Tripping on Daisies

2007-10-03T22:39:00.000-04:00

I just finished watching Pushing Daisies and I'm happy to say it absolutely exceeded my expectations. Visually, it's very Tim Burton-esque...a slightly odd but brightly colorful world. Kinda like a Claritin commercial on acid.

The story unfolds like a sort of magical fable, with allusions to both Sleeping Beauty and Forrest Gump, but with a bit of procedural crime drama thrown in.

In short, Ned, who runs a pie shop, has a remarkable gift. With a touch, he can resurrect the dead. However, as with any magical gift, there are stipulations. One, if he touches the person (or dog, or plant) again, they die again and cannot be brought back. Two, if he keeps them alive for more than one minute, they will remain alive (as long as he never touches them again). And three, if he chooses to keep someone alive past the 60-second mark, someone else has to die to take that person's place. With the help of a streetwise cop, Ned realizes the profitable potential of his ability. He awakens murder victims, asks who killed them, then after putting them back to "sleep", collects the reward.

It's this conundrum that creates the interesting relationship between Ned and his childhood sweetheart, Chuck. (Chuck is a girl, in case you were curious.) When Ned finds out that Chuck has been killed, he revives her with the initial purpose of reward money, but when they realize that they both still have feelings for one another, he decides to keep her alive past the minute mark, invariably causing the death of the nefarious funeral home director.

Ned and Chuck, though very much in love, can never touch. No kisses, hugs...nothing. But through some inspiringly clever writing, this limitation is overcome, at least emotionally.

The writing on this show is fantastic. There are too many cleverly crafted bits of dialogue and story turns to mention. I can't wait to see how future episodes play out. If tonight was any indication, consider me hooked.

Monday Night = TV Heaven

2007-10-02T11:56:00.000-04:00

Welcome back, Heroes. It's so good to see you again looking so fit and ready for action. And thanks for bringing your new friends, Chuck and Journeyman. Now I don't have to touch the remote for a whole three hours...until 11:00 when I hit the power button.

...And then hit it again Wednesday night and switch it to ABC for Pushing Daisies. I'm really looking forward to this show. Great premise, interesting relationship between the male and female leads and enough eye candy to send Augustus Gloop into a diabetic coma.

FADE OUT: THE END

2007-09-28T15:14:00.000-04:00

It's done! I can't believe I've actually finished it. The first draft of Left of the Dial is DONE!

In the end, it clocked in at 86 pages - not quite the 110 I had in mind, but as I said before, I still have a rewrite or two to go.

Now, I just have to leave it alone and resist the urge to go back and mess with it during the next two weeks. After that, I'll start making notes for the first rewrite and see if I can make it better. Like Hemingway once said, "The first draft of anything is shit."

As for the next two weeks? My plan is to start outlining a dramatic series for BBC television. I guess that should keep me occupied.

@#$%ing Final Draft

2007-09-28T13:37:00.000-04:00

This script has some curse words. A lot of curse words. One of the supporting characters is a punk, so he's gonna curse a bit. A group of punks trash a pizza shop, so you know they're gonna drop the f-bomb numerous times.

So far, the script is coming along great. In fact, I'm working on the final scene right now. But I had no idea that I'd have to corrupt someone in the process.

I'm talking about my copy of Final Draft. Out of the box, it doesn't know any dirty words. You have to teach it all the nastiness - it's kinda like hanging out in the junior high boy's bathroom, telling all the younger kids what the unmentionable words mean.

I wish the good folks at Final Draft would create some kind of dirty-word add-on downloadable so all you have to do is install it and - BAM! - instant filthiness.

...Dammit!

Rockin' On...

2007-09-27T15:11:00.000-04:00

I have a feeling I'm not going to make the 110-page mark on the Left of the Dial script. Not because I can't think of anything to write - the outline's handling that, thank you very much.

It's just that I don't think there's enough story there to make 110 pages. But a few things remain:

1. I have a few more scenes left to write.
2. I have to go back and work out a scene that I skipped over.
3. A couple of minor dialogue issues.

So, I'm expecting that by the time I finish the rewrite, it just might creep up to around 110 pages.

But does it have to be 110 pages? Well, that's the goal I've set for myself. And if you agree with the classic "a minute of screen time per page" estimate, then that's a pretty decent period of time for a first film. Most other films I'd lump it with average the same running time.

Ninety-something pages would be fine, but 110 pages is what I'm shooting for.

And the Award for Best Chunk of Dialogue from a Meet-Cute Moment Goes To...

2007-09-26T01:46:00.000-04:00

Jeff Garlin, for this brilliantly catchy piece of work from his film, I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With (trailer)...

Beth: Did you want some more ice cream?

James: No, I really gotta stop eating ice cream. I need to lose some weight.

Beth: Yeah, I used to be chubby when I was a little girl.

James: Yeah, but I'm not a little girl.

Beth: No, you're a big girl.

James: Big pretty girl.

Beth: Big pretty girl wanna go for a walk?

Now, I don't know if this bit was actually written by Garlin, or improvised by him and his co-star, Sarah Silverman, but I think it's the best part of a movie I haven't even seen yet.

The Halfway Mark

2007-09-21T11:29:00.001-04:00

I've finally hit the halfway mark on my first draft, and man, is it a great feeling. This thing is really shaping up, though I know it's only the first draft. I plan to let it sit for a couple of weeks after I'm done, after which it'll probably look completely stupid. But I don't care about that right now. A completed first draft is infinitely better than no draft at all.

My characters also seem to be shaping up as I write, which is probably good, since I only did a basic writeup of them before starting. But it's the outline that's literally saving my ass on this. If I didn't have the story worked out on paper, I'd never have gotten this far. The draft has veered away from the outline at some points, but overall I think it's for the better.

I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully it isn't an oncoming train.

The Deathly Obstacles

2007-09-17T10:14:00.000-04:00

(WARNING: If you're one of the two remaining people in the world who haven't read the final book, stop reading this now. Spoilers abound.)

I've finally finished the final book in the Harry Potter franchise and I have to admit, I'm a bit depressed. I'm going to miss these visits to Rowling's magical world.

I've really enjoyed the ride, from Harry's first year at Hogwarts to the final showdown with Voldemort. Rowling certainly knows how to spin a great yarn as well as construct a highly detailed and believable world around it. However, I think this last book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, kept me glued to its pages considerably more than the others. Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed all the books. The characters and storylines have always been well done. But something about the story in this book was more exciting to me than the others, and I think I know why.

It's because Harry, Ron and Hermione don't actually get to Hogwarts until the very end of the book. Harry mentioned at the end of the sixth book that he wouldn't return to Hogwarts the next year so that he could spend the time searching for a way to defeat Voldemort. So, of course, Ron and Hermione had to come along.

This change in the traditional Potter story structure made all the difference to me. The three of them were literally babes in the woods, stripped of the security of Hogwarts. Sure, there were some exciting times at school, but there was always the presence of Dumbledore to protect them all and answer all their questions in the end.

Here, there's no shelter, no protection, and no Dumbledore. They have to fend for themselves (shoplifting under the invisibility cloak...although Hermione always leaves money behind) and now that Voldemort's returned and has his followers hunting Harry around every corner. Things happen fast and furious and everyone is tested to their limits. Quite a few people die, but this is war.

Reading this was a great screenwriting lesson for me. If you really want to create conflict and obstacles for your characters, take away their safety net. Drop them into a totally unfamiliar place and let them wiggle their way out of it. No one wants to see a character muddle through their blandly familiar surroundings as nothing out of the ordinary happens to them. Shake things up a bit.

And I defy any of you who have read The Deathly Hallows to tell me you didn't tear up in chapter 34.

Big in CZ

2007-08-30T11:01:00.000-04:00

I don't know how the heck this happened, but apparently the folks at a movie listing site in the Czech Republic really like messing with cast lists. On their page for Super Mario Brothers, I've somehow made it to the top, showing up right behind Lance Henriksen.

After the hell that film put me through, this was a nice surprise.

Disorder of the Phoenix

2007-08-27T15:11:00.000-04:00

I have to confess that until just a few weeks ago, I had only gotten as far as the fourth book in the Harry Potter series. My wife and eldest son, however, have long since finished the entire collection, including the seventh, The Deathly Hallows. So, since the latest movie, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, is based on the fifth book, I decided I'd better get cracking.

In the case of screen adaptations, personally, I prefer seeing the movie only after first reading the book. A few days back and forth to work on the bus, and I was done. I thought the story was much stronger than the previous four books, leaving me ready to see a very exciting movie.

Now, for the most part, the Harry Potter films have failed to disappoint me in their adherence to the structure of the books. And I'd hoped that this latest film would be no different. Although I also realized that there is a lot going on in the fifth book and the film would probably need to be a bit longer than the rest to fit it all in, my hope for a faithful adaptation was riding high.

Ah, the word adaptation...adapt..."to make something suitable for a new use or purpose; modify"

Modify.

Yeah, they certainly did that alright. They adapted the crap out of it. I don't know what the deal was with the filmmakers wanting to shave down the longest book in the series to make the shortest film of the series. I would've gladly sat through thirty more minutes if it meant a more faithful rendition.

The worst part about this hack job was that, in the interest of brevity, a number of key things were either left out or altogether changed. For instance: (WARNING: MAJOR BOOK & FILM SPOILERS BELOW!)

1. Quidditch. There wasn't any. None! No one even mentioned it. Who the hell wants to see a Harry Potter film with no quidditch? In the book, Ron joins the team (and is horrible), Ginny joins the team (and is pretty good), and Harry gets banned for life from playing.

2. Cho. Yeah, she's Harry's love interest, but she's no snitch. At least not in the book.

3. Baby-Headed Death Eater. This scene was so freaking bizarre in the book and it's a shame it's not in the film. I really hope it shows up as a deleted scene on the DVD.

4. St. Mungo's. Personally, I thought the gang running into Neville and his parents in St. Mungo's (in the book) was much more powerful than Neville calmly saying to Harry, "You know, Voldemort screwed up my parents. 'Preciate it if you didn't mention it." And Kenneth Branagh could've had a great cameo.

5. Battles. Dumbledore kicks ass in his office. The kids put the beat down on the Death Eaters in the Ministry. And Harry goes nuts in Dumbledore's office like a rock star in a hotel room. Too bad none of it made it into the film.

Overall, the movie felt disjointed and the scenes seemed to be connected only by the editor's hand. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't horrible. It just could've been so much better with a little more screen time.

This raises a fundamental question in screenwriting and adaptations. Does the screenplay owe anything to the original material? Not a lick. It's an adaptation. A modification of the original work. So it's okay to take a few liberties. But this is an insanely popular story franchise we're talking about, so it's gotta be just right. The first few movies nailed it. This one should've, too.

Syd Field Podcast

2007-08-15T10:18:00.000-04:00

Actually, it's not so much a podcast as it is a short series of short conversations with Michael Arndt (Little Miss Sunshine) about the writing process, character development, plot turning points, and other interesting tidbits. These videos feature clips from Little Miss Sunshine and are quite insightful, mainly because Arndt speaks candidly about getting the script read, sold and being fired from the project (and subsequently rehired).

I'm not a huge fan of Syd, but I do wish he'd make some more of these.

Click here to grab the videos from iTunes.

Unfortunately, I've only been able to find it in iTunes. (There's also an audio version for all you nanos and shuffles out there.)

Kill Your Television!

2007-08-09T13:45:00.000-04:00

I just can't turn it on anymore. Someone else in my house has to do it. It's usually the children or my wife. This works out logically since the cat is unable to push the button.

But I personally can't turn on my TV. Why?

Reality.

No, I'm not being existential or esoteric. Reality on TV is sucking all the joy out of watching it. I remember a time when primetime meant great stories, action packed drama; even the mindless sitcom or two was entertaining. But now, flipping the switch gets me any of the following:

Game shows
These have just gotten ridiculous. I'm not talking about the "put a bunch of people in a house and the last one there gets the money" game shows (that's another category)...I'm talking about real game shows, on a stage in front of an audience with lots of flashing lights. And these aren't anything like the ones from back in the day, like Match Game or Hollywood Squares or the all-time boss of all game shows, Jeopardy. Here's the basic premise: Let's put an incredibly greedy/annoying/spastic moron on stage and put them through the emotional ringer while we raise the jackpot (and the stakes), making said moron convulse in fits of emotional agony. I think that sums up most of them.

(Un)Social Game Shows
Box up a bunch of people together with the same goal (i.e. to be hired/married/funny/thin/beautiful/whatever) and sit back and watch them fight over it. Survivor started this one and every incarnation of the basic idea gets more and more insipid.

Talent Shows
America's Idol Got Talent. If I wanted to watch a talent show, I'd visit my local junior high school.

Real Life Shows
Every goober with a camera phone, right there on my TV. People falling over the dog, the Christmas tree falling on grandma, grandma falling on the baby...

Let me know when the second season of Heroes starts. Until then, I'll be reading a book.

Character Descriptions in Two Lines

2007-07-30T10:47:00.000-04:00

Ever been stuck trying to introduce a new character? Okay, maybe not. Especially if you tend to take an entire paragraph to do it. But I'm here to tell you that it can actually be done in just one short sentence.

Yep. Once sentence...Actually, two lines in this case.

How am I so sure about this? Well, The Nails told me so over twenty years ago. The song was 88 Lines About 44 Women and it's a great example of concise character descriptions. Check these out:

"Reno was a nameless girl
a geographic memory..."

"Jeannie had a nightclub walk
that made grown men feel underage..."

"Jackie was a rich punk rocker
silver spoon and a paper plate..."

"Sarah was a modern dancer
lean pristine transparency..."

You get the picture. Just two lines and you instantly get a feel for what each woman is like. All they need are ages and they're pretty much good to go.

For most screenplays, this is quite sufficient for an introduction. As the story continues, however, it's the characters' actions and dialogue that fully uncover the essence of their personalities.

A Real Page Churner

2007-07-09T11:56:00.000-04:00

You gotta love public transportation.

You save on gas, it's less wear and tear on your car, and since someone else is doing the driving, there's plenty of time to kick back and read, listen to music...

...and write. And write. And write some more.

In fact, in the past three days, I've managed to churn out fourteen pages of my first draft. Not too bad, especially when you factor in a eight to five J-O-B and four kids who are all involved in some kind of extracurricular activity during the week.

According to my guesstimate, based on my current outline, I should be able to set the overall limit to 110 pages. A nice lean spec.

But as I've been writing, something freaky has happened. The characters are reorganizing the outline. I'll get halfway through a scene according to plan and it's as if they're saying, "No way, dude. I would never say it like that." or "Hell, no...I'm not doing that!" I've heard other writers talk about this happening, but I have to admit, it's kinda spooky when it actually happens to you.

Anyway, to celebrate making progress, I've included the ubiquitous writer's progress bar on the right. And yes, the title (for now) is Left of the Dial.

Look for various scene snippets in the near future.

(Progress bar courtesy of David Anaxagoras. Check out his fantastic blog!)

I'm As Mad As Hell...

2007-07-05T08:41:00.000-04:00

Why can't all TV news talking heads be more like this:

MSNBC's Mika Brzezinski refused to lead the news segment with the Paris Hilton jail release story. I completely agree with her statement and here's hoping more journalists (as well as those who think they're journalists) follow her lead.

Here's her explanation of what happened:

Getting Traction

2007-06-23T14:46:00.000-04:00

As a fellow writer, you know that getting those ideas on paper really makes you feel like a million bucks. That being said, I'm feeling pretty damn rich right about now. I've finally completed the outline for this story which, until recently, I've been messing around with only in my head. So far it looks pretty solid, but then again, I haven't set it aside for a few days to ferment and allow the nasty bits to rise to the top. Normally, I would think that the next step would be to write out the scenes on index cards and shuffle them around a bit. But I think I've done all the shuffling I can do for now in the outline. It really just needs to sit for a couple of days.

After that, my next planned step after double checking the outline again, is to start cranking out a first draft. Just writing it out, getting it on paper. I'm not really concerned with massive amounts of quality here. Just words on paper. I mean, I'll gut-check myself as I write, but not too much.

Now, one of my previous posts mentioned Alex Epstein's excellent advice about coming up with a story premise with a great hook, querying the logline to some people, and actually writing it only if it garners any interest.

And it is great advice. Just not for this script.

This script doesn't have one of those mind-bending hooks that makes studios go nuts and dream of merchandising offers. It's just a simple finding-your-true-self story.

But if it turns out the way I have in mind, it's a script that could be shot for next to nothing. No special effects. No exotic locations. No weapon or animal wranglers required. Just a simple character piece that takes place in a North Carolina college town.

The only thing I can see standing in the way of it getting produced is music rights. Let's just say there's a LOT of music in this story. Music that mostly isn't heard much anymore, but is recorded and owned by record labels nonetheless. But it's crucial to the story. In fact the story literally revolves around it.

This is exactly the issue faced by the recent DVD release of WKRP In Cincinnati's first season. There's a great scene in which Mr. Carlson walks in on Johnny zoning out listening to Pink Floyd's Dogs. Unfortunately, it was cut from the DVD release because of music rights issues. Damn, I love that show.

Crafty Writers Query First

2007-06-06T08:16:00.000-04:00

I just finished reading Alex Epstein's book Crafty Screenwriting and I have to say it's very different from other screenwriting "bibles". First, he presents his advice from a real-world, this-is-what-works perspective. Thankfully he doesn't dwell too much on proper structure or voice-over hating or his own personal act break philosophies. It's more along the lines of "if there's only three things you remember about dialogue, it's this..." Of course, there are more than three things he talks about on the topic of dialogue, but you get the picture.

Lots of great basic knowledge there. But, the one thing that seemed unusual to me was his advice to come up with the story's hook and a tasty logline, send out query letters, then wait for responses.

But don't actually write the screenplay yet.

Instead, base your decision to write what you have in mind on the kind of response you get from your letters. If you didn't get any bites, it could be that your story idea isn't compelling enough, so why waste time writing something that doesn't gather any interest?

Now, I know this contradicts what most of us know of the screenwriting process. You write something, then try to sell it, right? But, my big question about this was how long is an agent or producer who has shown interest in your story idea going to wait for you to write the darned thing?

I asked Alex this and here's what he said.

When I sat back and thought about it, the advice sounded pretty logical. If they wanted to see it when you sent the query letter, they'll still want to see it when you're done writing it. In fact, they probably won't even remember responding to your query letter, so when you finish writing and tell them, "here's the script you requested on March 12th", they most likely won't bother to second-guess you.

So, I think I'll try this for a couple of ideas I've been knocking around. Maybe that's the acid test I need to know which story to start writing.

Be sure to check out Alex's excellent blog, Complications Ensue!

Creative Screenwriting Magazine Podcast

2007-06-05T11:54:00.000-04:00

Creative Screenwriting Magazine's Senior Editor, Jeff Goldsmith, is the most likable guy I've never met.

In his (usually) weekly podcast, he kinda comes across as the college buddy you used to hang out and down a few cold ones with. And his laid back demeanor definitely rubs off on the writers, directors, writer/directors, and producers he hosts in CS's post-screening Q&A sessions.

Take the recent Luc Besson Q&A, for example. Now, I don't know if Luc is naturally this witty and hilarious, but he was an absolute riot during Jeff's interview with him. That episode alone is worth subscribing.

The podcast focuses on the writing process -- everything from getting the initial idea on paper, to polishing the final draft, to getting your script seen, and finally into production. Working screenwriters tell their own stories of how they got started, as well as the stumbles they've had along the way. And the magazine has even more great stuff!

Soon, Jeff will give listeners another great reason to subscribe to the podcast. According to a recent email from him:

"Keep an eye out for [magazine] subscription discounts - I'll have a code for podcasters - it's definitely a good way to get the magazine and much, much cheaper - I'll be announcing it soon."

Can't wait, Jeff. If you haven't subscribed to the free (yeah, free) podcast yet, subscribe now through iTunes so you don't miss out on the magazine discount. To make sure you get new episodes automagically, click on the "Subscribe" button when iTunes comes up.

Creative Screenwriting really is a great magazine and podcast, so don't miss out!

"Nothin' Could Be Finer..."

2007-05-31T13:44:00.000-04:00

There's a new filmmaking blog in the scribosphere and it comes from our southerly neighbors in North Carolina. In case you didn't know, there's a lot of shooting going on down there - and I'm not just talking about hunting season. North Carolina is currently a hotbed of film production.

Believe me, I should know.

CarolinaFlicks features everything from local casting notices, to upcoming productions, to book reviews. Hell, they even publish their own free shot list manager software.

Check 'em out at www.carolinaflicks.com.

Where The !@#% Have You Been?

2007-05-23T08:17:00.000-04:00

That's what my blog just said to me. Yep. Sure did.

Here's what's been going on:

Writing. Writing sample material. Writing assorted screenplay notes. Writing an industrial training film.

Filming. This year's Mother's Day gift has been seen by over 540 people so far. Lots of fun making that one and only the baby got messy.

La Vie En Rose. Damn, I really wanted to write that one. Such a great story.

Launching a Blog. Not mine...not another one. This one's enough. It's my wife's blog. It's an in-your-face, no-holes-barred discussion about homeschooling and basically saying "up yours" to the public school system. We've been homeschooling our children since the day each of them were born and all of us couldn't be happier. Of course, much of the general public just don't "get" homeschooling, as evidenced by crap films like The Brothers Solomon. I could go on about this, but that's for my wife's blog.

The Best Shows (that were) on Television

2007-03-14T11:26:00.000-04:00

I don't watch a lot of TV. In fact, most of what I watch is limited to news, CSI/Law & Order: Whatever and the rare peek at the underbelly of human existence on daytime chat shows. Apart from these and a few other choice pieces of programming (Lost, Heroes, House), there's really just not much that floats my boat on TV these days.

But some of the shows that were on TV...ahh. Now there's some quality storytelling. Too bad they're no longer around to grow and prosper like they used to.

Homicide: Life on the Street - This had to be the best crime drama on TV in a long, long time. Hell, the best show on TV period! Great well-developed characters put into always interesting situations. Granted, the steam started to run out when some of the cast did, but when it was hot, it was hot!

Arrested Development - The darling of critics and viewers; the red-headed stepchild of Fox. The funniest show I never saw (until it came to DVD).

The first couple of seasons of Law and Order (the original) - Grainy and edgy, it set the standard for procedural drama, but in the midst of getting slick and eventually switching out its entire cast, it lost its wonderfully gritty essence. Catch the first few seasons - pure gold.

Seinfeld - Hell, who isn't a Seinfeld fan? No new shows, but long live syndication!

Firefly - Every inch a great show. Fantastic writing.

Twin Peaks - This freak show was so good it still gives me the heebie-jeebies. In the words of Agent Cooper, "Damn fine!"

The Stress-Free Writer

2007-02-28T09:42:00.000-05:00

C'mon...who're we kidding. Any creative writing endeavor is a breeding ground for stress and anxiety. Trying to fill that blank screen (or page for you typists out there) is sometimes so overwhelmingly daunting that you're left sitting and staring, your jaw slacked open, fingers drumming the desk to summon the Great Spirit of Writing to send you a sign.

More commonly known as "writer's block", this condition (much like the hiccups) has many reported cures. Personally, a walk around the block in really cold weather does wonders, but in case you don't have access to a block or cold weather, try some of the exercises at Language Is A Virus. Here are a few choice nuggets:

Using phrases relating to one subject or idea, write about another, pushing metaphor and simile as far as you can. For example, use science terms to write about childhood or philosophic language to describe a shirt.

Systematically derange the language: write a work consisting only of prepositional phrases, or, add a gerund to every line of an already existing work.

There are a lot of other goodies there, including some online writer's block toys (cut-up and slice-n-dice generators) and some insight from some of the greats. (mostly the Beats; Kerouac, Burroughs, Ginsberg, et al)

Check it out and free your mind!

Ten Rules for Suspense

2007-02-14T08:36:00.000-05:00

Over at Thrillerwriters.org, Brian Garfield's ten rules for writing suspense fiction lay it all out for you. This is the list John Grisham credited with helping him craft his first bestseller, The Firm.

Here's a few to wet your whistle:

Start with action; explain it later.
Give the protagonist a personal stake.
Give the protagonist a tight time limit, and then shorten it.

These are excellent guidelines and a must for any writer -- novelist or screenwriter.

This American Podcast

2007-02-13T08:54:00.000-05:00

I know this is old news, but it gave me an excuse to post to my sorely neglected blog, so there ya go.

One of my favorite shows on NPR, This American Life, is now available as a podcast. Each week, the show features fantastic stories tied together by a common theme. And each week I listen, at least one of those stories makes me say to myself, "Wow! This would make a great movie!"

Check it out on iTunes!

Alex Haley and the Big Canoe

2006-11-09T10:45:00.000-05:00

I don't know why I haven't posted this story before now, but it's a great example of point of view and the process of doing character research.

Back in college in 1986, I had the pleasure of meeting Alex Haley. He was in town on a lecture tour and agreed to drop by our playwriting class to hang out and answer some questions. We were all thrilled and eventually not disappointed in the slightest.

Mr. Haley was a quiet, gentle, and well-spoken man, who was eager to take the time to help us better understand the writing process in general. It was a very intimate setting, with only seven or eight of us sitting in the small Theatre Arts Department faculty lounge.

When the time came for questions, I was ready with mine: "What's the most important thing you've learned about researching characters?"

He looked up, thought for a second, and proceeded to relate the following anecdote:

When he was researching his most famous work, Roots, he did extensive study into the kind of ships that were used to transport slaves from Africa to America. The kind of wood used to build them, the rigging, the size and shape of the sails, the cabin and below-deck layouts. Everything. He said he spent close to six months exploring every aspect of the ships and became quite an expert on them.

Then, as he began fleshing out the character of Kunta Kinte, it occurred to him that since the beginning of the book is written from Kunta's point of view, all of the information about the slave ships was absolutely irrelevant. All Kunta knew was that the ship was a "big canoe". How the sails were stitched made no difference. It was a boat and it was big and that was it.

So, throughout the book, the slave ship is referred to as a "big canoe". Six months of research rendered useless simply by placing the story from the point of view of a single character.

We all immediately realized the importance of this lesson. For a character to be truly real, he has to know what he knows and nothing more. Except for the commentary in the DVD's special features, the screenwriter won't be doing voiceovers in a film to explain what the character is experiencing. The character's world has to work for the character first, then through the character's experiences, the audience will figure it out.

John August Gives Birth

2006-11-09T09:18:00.000-05:00

John August is such a generous guy. And I'm not saying that just to butter him up so he'll read my script. He really is a generous guy. If you've checked out his site (and I highly recommend you do), you've gotten a taste of the vast amount of valuable screenwriting information there.

Now, John's decided to dig his pool of knowledge deeper still. He's just launched jaWiki, a Wikipedia-like compendium of wisdom for the aspiring screenwriter. Like the standard wiki model, it's a place where we can all contribute whatever we can.

He does warn that jaWiki is a bit unstable and could self-destruct at any moment. But, hey...we're not scared. We're tech-savvy scribes, right?

Fall Into High Gear

2006-10-30T09:53:00.000-05:00

I haven't abandoned this blog. At least completely. I may have been AWOL for a couple of months, but rest assured I haven't completely forgotten you.

I think Lennon said it best: "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

That said, I've always felt that the crispy ambiance of Autumn is a great motivator. While a visible change is certainly in the air, the colored leaves and lowered temps always manage to spark an internal change in me. And this year, that change will be one of a re-commitment to my writing.

Yep, it's time to get serious again.

Our bloggin' buddy, Dave Anaxagoras, has re-committed himself as well, vowing to awake every morning at 6:30am to put in at least one non-interrupted hour of writing. And I'm with him all the way. I have the time in the morning, but I haven't been using it for writing. But now, Dave and I will be battling the page together in spirit. (by the way, gotta get me one of those progress bar thingys.)

Taking on this renewal of writing as a group really is a good way to approach the task. There's peer pressure involved and having a large number of people out there doing the same thing really imbues one with a sense of empowerment. The folks at NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) are gearing up for their annual (every November) "pledge drive" of sorts. Meaning you novelists out there are going to pledge to write a complete novel in just one month. And for us aspiring screenscribes, there's the 14-Day Screenplay. Even though their drive is already over (it ran Sept. 30 - Oct. 13), you can still participate on your own two-week schedule, using their tips and advice.

So, whaddya waitin' for? Let's get writing!

Samuel L. Jackson on a Phone

2006-08-03T14:10:00.000-04:00

Okay, this is just plain creepy marketing.

Using this marvel of modern telecommunications technology, you can now have Samuel L. call your favorite ~~victim~~ friend and remind them in his ever-so-tender way that Snakes on a Plane is coming soon. Basically, it asks you some questions about the person and then peppers the movie promo with some personalized comments. He even says the person's name. Of course, I can't imagine Sam sitting in a recording booth, plowing his way through every name in the book, so I'm sure it's some kind of speech-to-text thing that does the trick. The best part (um...I think) is that when the call is sent, the number the person sees on their caller ID is yours.

Now, I can see some great uses for this if Mr. Jackson decided to loan out his famously intense verbal stylings to other phone reminder services. I can hear it now:

"Hey, John...Guess what? It's time to go to work. So, get'cho mutha-f**king ass outta that bed before I come over there, goddamnit! We cool?"

Enjoy and spread the word, mutha-f**ker!

A Much Needed Five-Minute Break

2006-07-11T09:21:00.000-04:00

Everyone's favorite silky-voiced storyteller, Garrison Keillor, has a new podcast. The Writer's Almanac is a daily, five-minute chat about the highlights of this day in history in the world of writing. And he reads a short poem or two.

A nice soothing escape from the maddening shuffling of index cards.

Lack O' Time...And Sleep

2006-07-07T08:48:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I'm sure most of you out there have given up on this blog by now. It's been over two months since I've posted, but I do have a good reason. Really.

My wife and I just had our fourth child.

As you can see, none of us have gotten much sleep lately. But I'm glad to say I'm back and rejuvenated. In the meantime, after doing some work on the previously mentioned script, I've come to the realization that I'm just not ready to tackle that particular storyline. I just feel that my writing just isn't to the level it needs to be to do the story justice. So, onward with a different story - one not included in the list I posted months ago.

My plan is to have a basic treatment done in a few days (by Tuesday) and a full treatment a week after that. I personally find it less stressful to do the treatment first, then the outline. How does that work for the rest of you out there? Does everything come together better for you with an outline first, or a treatment first? Index cards? Or maybe just plain writing the darned thing...

Anyway, it's good to be back.

Writers On a Bus

2006-05-01T14:05:00.000-04:00

I decided to give myself a little more time to decide, but I think it's for the best. After some careful consideration and recent changes in my transportation method (more in a bit), I've decided to go with #2 on the list.

I'll be posting more details about the story as I work through it, but for now, let's just say it's reminiscent of Liar Liar.

...Okay, maybe not that reminiscent, but it's in the same ballpark.

As for the transportation changes, after having some car trouble a week ago, and factoring in the skyrocketing price of gas, I've started taking the bus to work.

Now, for those of you in big dense metro areas, the bus is pretty much a fact of everyday existence. Everyone rides it. But here in southeastern Virginia, taking the bus usually means you have no other choice. I really hate to say that there's a bit of a social stereotype associated with using the transit system here, but things are as they are - I'm usually one of the only few white people on the bus. A lot of my friends were somewhat surprised to learn that I've been riding the bus to work - especially surprised when I tell them that the 30-minute commute now takes me two hours. But when I tell them that it's only $1.50 each way, they double-take and say, "Wow, that's cheap!" Yeah, try doing a 40-mile round trip on one gallon of gas. Forget it, Prius Boy!

So far, the only drawback to this change is the added commute time. But as we writers know, two hours is plenty of time to knock out a few scenes. So, the bus is now my morning and afternoon writing office. That's four "writing hours" a day that I don't have when I'm doing the driving.

But I think the best added benefit by far are the variety of people I now encounter everyday. I'm telling you, it could fuel a whole other blog. It's a great chance to people-watch for character ideas.

I'm looking forward to the new adventure - the bus rides and the screenplay, which coincidentally months before had already been assigned the title The Road to Shambala.

Gotta go...it's almost time to catch my office.

Low to the Blogdar

2006-04-12T13:35:00.000-04:00

Okay. Enough neglecting this blog. Apologies and all that stuff.

I've been wrestling with a bit of a decision lately regarding various stories that are competing for my time in Final Draft. While I think each one could at least become a first draft, some are probably more marketable than others. But which one to tackle first?

A coming-of-age dramedy about a college student who must choose between the comfortable career path and finding his own true voice. Partly auto-biographical, this material is really close to me and would be pretty easy to write. However, if I'm not careful with this one, it could end up in the "emotionally disaffected man finds true love amidst the strangeness of life" category. (see Garden State) Not that that's a bad thing...
A self-centered advertising exec learns an eye-opening lesson about compassion and letting go of his materialistic side. I've probably done the most up-front work on this one, but still needs some basic story polishing.
A sci-fi thriller about a researcher who finds himself living ahead of everyone else on earth. I think this one has great commercial potential. Only a couple of hurdles...(1) It's based on an existing short story so I'm not sure whether to just go ahead and write it and let the studio handle the rights or secure the rights first, and (2) scenes might be way too long because of the "time difference" between the lead character and everyone else.
A noir-style thriller about a man randomly targeted to take the wrap for a murder. He must unravel an intricate web of clues to find the real killer, while eluding the police who are hunting him. This was an early story idea that I've kept around for a number of years. Nothing new as far as concept goes, but could do with a clever character flaw to make things interesting.

I'd like to start drafting any one of these, but as well all know, it's difficult to devote quality writing time to more than one.

I'm giving myself until this Friday to decide.

The Buddhist Treatment

2006-01-18T13:06:00.000-05:00

Any good writer should never be at a loss for a good story. Most of us can rattle off a good one starting with a "what if..." or a "once upon a time...". But there are those moments when the gears just don't turn, the juice just doesn't flow, and the lake of ideas dries up. Of course, classic story lines have been rehashed so many times in Hollywood that visiting any one of them again would probably send your script on a short trip to the circular file.

Luckily, there are a collection of stories that have been around for hundreds of years, but don't seem to get much attention from filmmakers. These stories are ancient Buddhist tales - known as Jataka tales - and are very much like Aesop's Fables and Christian biblical parables, but with various morals that emphasize Buddhist concepts such as compassion, patience, and honesty.

Jataka Tales - Volume I
Jataka Tales - Volume II

Take some time and check them out and you just might find one that closely resembles the very story you're working on, possibly moving into a direction you hadn't considered. Or maybe you'll find a story to give you the spark for a new script.

Either way, Tashi Delek! ("good luck" in Tibetan)

A Case of the Gotties

2006-01-04T12:05:00.000-05:00

As a part two to my previous post, I thought I'd let you all know just how good the holidays were to me...with a little help once again from Google and Yahoo.

Alan got a value meal of an apple pie.
...now they don't have to ask me at the drive-thru anymore...

Alan got a meal that came with a panini.
...can you see where this is going?...

Alan got a full time job working at a Youth Correctional Facility and Debra got a job as a telemarketer.
...I don't know which of us got the better deal...

Alan got a chance to ride the real thing.
...no more training wheels for me...now, what am I riding?...

Alan got a 40-foot whipper after nearly sticking the crux on his second try.
...hey, I could've gotten it on the first try if my foot hadn't slipped...

Alan got a check for $90,210.
...to pay for my private crux-sticking lessons...

Alan got a court order to have the name of my martini bar changed and have me evicted from my room.
...long story...don't ask...

Alan got a offer to go on the road with another local band, LABAMBA and the HUBCAPS.
...formerly known as LABAMBA and the ALL-CAPS...

Alan got a new briefcase and a new med bag.
...guess which one will come in handy at tax time...

Alan got a blackmail note asking for $10,000 ... warned him to stop seeing Hope.
...and if I find the guy who wrote it, I'm sticking a crux in him...

Hope you all had a great holiday, too!

It's a Wonderful Film

2005-12-14T15:06:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite things about the Christmahanukwanzaa season is the return of the traditional holiday TV shows. Charlie Brown, Rudolph and Frosty - even Burgermeister Meisterburger and Heat Miser - all hold a special place in my heart.

But for me, no seasonal movie holds a candle to Frank Capra's It's a Wonderful Life. For those of you who've never seen it, see it. I won't do a complete synopsis here, but IMDB does a pretty decent job of summing it up.

It's not only my favorite holiday film, it's one of my favorite films of all time.

Why?

Because it deals with something we can all relate to - our self-importance in relation to the world around us. Each of us from time to time have had moments of crisis and, much like George Bailey, we've contemplated how much better off those around us would be had we never existed. Emotionally, it's a pretty selfish view to take, but troubled times can loom large and force us to rationalize situations in pretty desperate ways.

But George is a truly compassionate soul, not because he wants to be, but because in the situations he finds himself in, it's just the right thing to do. Time and time again, he gives up his dreams of traveling and seeing the world to make things right for those around him. When he and Mary are leaving for their honeymoon and he sees the swarm of people outside the savings & loan, he makes the compassionate decision to use the money for his honeymoon trip to save his customers and bail out the savings & loan - even if there's only two dollars left at the end of the day. George could've kept on going toward his honeymoon and happiness, but his customers - the people of his town - needed him.

It's when things go horribly bad for George that the story really hits home. After jumping off a bridge, he meets Clarence, an angel who shows him exactly what life would've been like if he'd never been born. It seems like a stretch at first, that George's mere existence could've saved the town from the monopolizing influence of Mr. Potter. But is it really a stretch?

We all touch the lives of others and our words and deeds have a butterfly effect that ripples through the lives we touch, as those people interact with others and so on. We're all important to each other and, as any Buddhist will tell you, we all share this life with each other.

In the end, those close to George come to his rescue. His good karma pays off and everything comes around for the best.

So, during the holidays - whichever holiday you celebrate - take a look at those around you. Even those whose lives you don't think you touch. See a little bit of yourself in their eyes. Take their hand. Connect. Share. Enjoy this wonderful life.

A Case of the Gimmies

2005-11-16T08:41:00.000-05:00

Fellow screenbloggers Dave Anaxagoras and Warren Hsu Leonard have posted an interesting exercise. Go to Google and type in "[your first name] needs" and see what you get. Better yet, post the results on your own blog.

I did the same, but with a bit of a change. Since we're coming up fast on the holiday season, I decided to change "need" to the more blatantly greedy "wants a". So, here's my web-generated holiday wish list - five from Google, five from Yahoo...

Alan wants a $10,000 income strategy.
...yep...that'd be fine...

Alan wants a tox screen run on Edward.
...I always suspected he was on something...

Alan wants a good bull.
...and a heifer who'll respect him in the morning...

Alan wants a G5.
...already ordered...shipping in two weeks!

Alan wants a twin brother who will handle the paperwork while the real Alan plays with lights.
...can he be an eeeeevil twin?...oooo...pretty lights...

Alan wants a D100.
...I've outgrown the C99...

Alan wants a paternity test.
...but only if I can get the results as a guest on Springer...

Alan wants a two-seater with a secure load space.
...for my D100 Anti-Traffic-Jam Missle...

Alan wants a word with you for a minute.
...it's about Edward...

Alan wants a production he can really sink his teeth into.
...here's hoping Santa knows some people...

Do You Want To Play A Game? (The Finale)

2005-11-11T10:26:00.003-05:00

I hate it when the phone wakes me up. When shopping for alarm clocks, I try to find one that has a somewhat pleasant ring. Something mellow, yet...alarming. But the phone – no matter what kind of phone it is – never wakes me up nicely. Because I know that on the other end of that alarm, there is someone who wants to ask me, tell me, or otherwise bother me.

It was my agent.

“Alan, they need you back on the Mario Brothers set.”

“What for? I thought I was done.”

“They need you for some pickup shots.”

“But I'm scared of Dennis Hopper.”

“They're flying you down there.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. First class.”

“I'm so there.”

Now, you have to understand. This was a big deal for me. First, I'd never flown first class, and second, I'd never had a major production company need me badly enough to fly me first class. I was really excited about this. And no amount of Hopper weirdness was going to ruin it for me.

As I walked toward the plane the next day bound for Wilmington, NC, my head was filled with bizarre first-class fantasies of semi-nude air waitresses feeding me champagne and truffles while massaging my feet with olive oil. So, it's only fitting that the only thing I ate or drank was some kind of messy thing on a plate that made me wonder what those poor schmucks in coach were getting. And the only action my feet got was from the kid sitting next to me stepping on them whenever he got the playtime jones.

When we finally arrived, I walked down to baggage to find a guy holding a sign with my name on it. We got in the van and drove out to the set. As it turns out, they needed me to shoot the segment in the devo chamber where the big chair slides back, taking me to the big flashy thing. What I found out after putting on my Devo (the band) duds was that while I'm in the chair, it would move back along a track, stopping under the big flashy thing. The chair would then shoot upward, propelling me head-first into the hole in the big flashy thing. I immediately looked around for someone who looked a lot like me, was dressed a lot like me, and who would hopefully be doing this stunt for me.

There were just so many things that could possibly go wrong with this. The chair could fly backward at Mach 5, firing me through the factory door like a new-wave cannonball. The chair could stop under the big flashy thing, but not precisely aligned with the hole my head was supposed to fit into, resulting in a deadly cranial fracture when the chair shot up.

The AD (a different guy, who was apparently hired the day before) wanted to run through the scene a few times before shooting. Dennis and I wouldn't have lines this time, so I felt a little more at ease. I'm sure Dennis did, too. I sat down in the chair and learned that the chair operator had already tested it throughly and I had nothing to worry about. The only thing I had do was to sit really still when the chair shot up. He hit the switch and the chair started its trip toward the devo machine. When it finally stopped, the operator told me to look up. I was staring into what looked like the back-end of a huge cement mixer with Christmas tree lights. A big white flashing gay cement mixer. I felt like the space shuttle preparing to dock with the space station for an intergalactic drag show. And I'm not even gay.

“Okay, look straight ahead and don't move,” he said. As soon as I looked back down, the chair shot up surprisingly fast and I found my head inside a small chamber, surrounded by more pulsing multicolored lights. Then, a whoosh of movie smoke surrounded my head and poured out of the hole around me.

As the chair lowered, the first thing I saw was Dennis, Bob Hoskins, and some guy named John Leguizamo staring at me with the most perplexed look on their faces. It was like they were watching an exotic dancer do a certain trick with a banana that I won't describe here in detail. Unexpectedly, they applauded as my chair moved back into position. After a couple more run-throughs, we shot the scene, except that I was instructed to scream bloody murder when the gay cement mixer lights started flashing.

We finally broke for lunch after a few successful shots. It was a really warm summer day, so lunch was served outside under tents. And we were apparently the last ones to eat since there was hardly anyone left out there. I grabbed a plate and sauntered down the line. Lots of pasta and salad type things. I'm a big fan of any kind of pasta dish, so I went for a few of the pasta salads. Nice creamy pasta salads with mayo and cheese. Man, it sure is hot out here. I wonder when they actually started serving lunch.

I think you know where this is leading.

We had a few more takes to do, so I finished eating and headed back inside. Later that evening, we wrapped for the day and I waited for a van to take me to the hotel. I wandered around outside for a bit, looking at various set pieces, when my stomach started gurgling. Must've been the onions in the salad, I thought. Then it got worse. The next thing I knew I was heaving several major organs into the bushes outside the makeshift production office.

When the van finally got me to the hotel, I ran up to my room and spent the entire night either in front of the toilet where nasty things were shooting out of my mouth, or on it where similarly nasty things were shooting out of my ass. I was completely miserable and while I was sitting there blasting bodily fluids all over the place, I had but one thought:

I actually did a scene with Dennis Hopper.

I kept seeing his wicked stare in my mind while I barfed. This is for you Dennis. This is all for you. (flush)

The next morning, I was officially done with this damn film and wanted to get back home in bed with my mellow alarm clock. However, while they were willing to fly me down there, they weren't so generous with the return ticket. So, they duped one of their PAs into driving me the 5 hours back up to Norfolk.

My wife met me at the door, hugged me, and told me I looked like total crap. I told her the whole sickening story and she took me straight to the ER. A diagnosis of food poisoning and couple of IVs later, I was back on my feet, a little woozy, but back on my feet nonetheless.

I didn't actually see Super Mario Bros. until it was released on video. My wife and I were on the edge of our seats when the devo chamber scene started. I saw myself over on the right side of the screen for a split second and then even longer when I stood beside one of the Goombas. But then the devo chamber scene came and went with no devo chamber technician sliding chair action, no overworked scene with Dennis, no shots of my head in the big gay cement mixer. The scene had found it proper resting place on the cutting room floor.

At first I was a bit let down after working, barfing, and crapping so hard for that scene. But I later came to appreciate the director's (whoever it was that week) judgment in cutting the scene because the rest of the film around it sucked with such mind-numbing force that I doubt that anyone involved ever mentions it anymore.

Except Dennis and I.

Do You Want To Play A Game? (Part II)

2005-10-21T11:32:00.001-04:00

If you’ve ever seen Super Mario Bros., you’ll probably remember the scene where Mario & Luigi push Koopa into the devo chair and zap him back a few million years. Or maybe you’ve seen it and chose to block it out. At any rate, as everyone is pushing each other around, you’ll notice a large greenish brown splotch of ooze on the floor. You never get to see where it comes from. It’s just there.

That’s me. I’m the slime.

Now, several people have who have studied the film’s continuity have speculated on the origin of the goo on the floor. But here’s the real scoop -- The way the scene was supposed to have played out.

By this time, Koopa is making his point about the importance of cleanliness and sanitary conditions. (Too many personal hygiene films in school, I guess) While he’s explaining all this to the plumbers, I’m busily pushing buttons and pulling levers in the background. I suddenly let out a sneeze and Koopa turns on me in a flash saying “You’re sick!” I tell him it’s just the dust or something, and he tells me to “sit in the big chair and we’ll fix you right up.”

That there is some world class story building. Didn’t see that one coming, did you?

Koopa pushes me back into the devo chair and hits the button, metal straps pop around my wrists, and the chair starts moving backward toward the big flashy time transformer thingy. Meanwhile, Koopa is going on and on about how everything evolved from primordial slime and how this amazing invention can zap any living creature all the way back and anywhere in between.

So, to make a long story short, I come back from the big flashy thing as a large mess of gloop which oozes all over the floor, thereby providing our heroes with a method of knocking Koopa and his Goombas off balance, sending him to a time trip in the devo chair while making their escape to rescue the princess.

What a flippin' mess.

That’s the way the scene was supposed to go. I was really psyched about getting to do some dialogue with Dennis Hopper and made sure I had the lines down perfectly before our first run-through. You actors out there know that while memorizing your own lines, you inadvertently end up learning your scene partner’s lines as well. By the time we were ready to start setting up the shot, I could play out all parts of the entire scene in my head.

Now, after our brief run-in at the hair trailer, I had formulated the following impression of Dennis:

The man is a little scary

The man is a little lost

The man had a little too much fun in the 60s…and the 70s…and most likely the 80s.

Finally, it’s time to start shooting. We’d already blocked out the scene with scripts in hand and knew all the movements. Dennis and I are ready to make movie magic. Mr. AD yells “action” and we start.

Dennis does his line.

I do my line.

Dennis does his line.

I do my line.

What happens next takes me completely off guard. Dennis just freezes and hits me with the second in his arsenal of deadly stares. This one, however, is much different from the first. This one is a lost and confused stare. I’ve seen this stare in only two other situations before this moment. The first occasion was with an elderly relative who was struggling to figure out who the hell I was as she slipped rapidly into senility. The other was when a fellow actor had absolutely no idea what his next line was.

Since this seems to fall under the latter example, I’m faced with a bit of a dilemma. Should I wait for Dennis to remember the line? Or should I be bold and feed the guy his next line? Suddenly, my brain goes into “WTF” mode and I feed him the line. That snaps him out of his gaze and he continues as the AD cuts the scene.

This happens again and again as I feed him line after line. Finally, after over a dozen takes, he nails it. The AD quickly wraps that shot, eager to get it over with so he can beg his agent to get him out of this disaster of a project.

After the shoot, I get out of my Devo duds and rejoin my wife, who is receiving a demo of the operation of the Goomba head puppet.

“I’m done. Let’s go home,” I say.

We drive the five hours back to Norfolk and flop down on the couch, satisfied that the whole messy ordeal is finally behind us.

Or so we thought… (Cue spooky music)

Continue to Part III

Do You Want To Play a Game?

2005-09-28T09:48:00.002-04:00

Scott the Reader, in addition to being the first to post a comment on this blog, is a reader (duh) and frequents quite a few screenwriting blogs. He even has his own blog and since it’s a good read, I feel honored that he swung by for a look. After reading my intro post, Scott asked me to share the Super Mario Brothers story. So, here goes…

The year was 1992. My wife and I had been married a year and a half and within two years, we’d have our first of three kids crawling around our apartment.

We lived in Norfolk, VA, but for these few days, I was five hours away in Wilmington, NC and had just finished shooting my tiny walk-on part in an episode of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles. (Actually it was a sleepwalk-on part. I would take a moment to explain, but it would be doomed to the cutting room floor anyway). After getting out of wardrobe, I stopped to call my wife to let her know I would be hopping in the car and heading home soon. She quickly informed me that I needed to call my agent right away.

Now, my agent never called me twice in a week, not to mention calling to tell me about an audition while I’m on the set of another film. My first thought was, “There’s a problem with these schmucks paying me.” It was a real throwaway role and I really didn’t have much hope of it making the final cut. But they had to pay me, right?

I hung up the phone and immediately called my agent. She wanted me to run over to this abandoned cement factory to audition for Super Mario Brothers. I was really damn close to asking her what the heck she was babbling about.

“It’s a movie based on the video game,” she said.

“But I’ve never played this game,” I replied. “I have no idea what it’s even about.”

“That’s okay. They just need to cast someone for this right away.”

Great. I just love being kept in the dark about things. But I’m a nice guy and she’s a really sweet lady, so I ask her for directions and make tracks for this little slice of desolation.

She wasn’t kidding after all. It really was an abandoned cement factory. Except there were trucks and people milling about. Not cement trucks and not factory workers. Transportation vans and production people. I turned in and was guided to the crew parking lot. The guy asked who I was there to see. I told him…Rocky Morton and Anabel Jankel. At the moment, it didn’t dawn on me that they were the duo responsible for Max Headroom.

So, I go straight in to meet them. They were pleasant, middle-aged artsy folks who spoke to me all of one minute and then informed me that I was now cast as a Devo Chamber Technician. Now that I think back, it should’ve worried me that they didn’t bother to explain anything about the film’s plot. Because I now believe that, at the time, they probably didn’t have a solid idea of what the film was about, either.

I’m not saying they’re shoddy directors. I kinda liked Max Headroom. Not in a fanboy way, just an interesting concept. What I am saying, however, is that this film went through more screenwriters, directors, cast and crew than a dozen films combined. By the time I came to be involved, no one really knew what the hell was going on.

At any rate, I was taken directly to wardrobe to get fitted for a costume. Blue coveralls and a red hardhat. They must’ve found them lying around the factory. I wasn’t sure if I was to be working in a devo chamber or with the band Devo. I was then to report to visual effects. Visual effects? Sweet! This scene wasn’t just going to be people standing around talking. I would be part of a mind-numbing visual film event. I walked into the trailer and was told that they would need me to do a full-head cast. This was just getting cooler by the second.

I decided that I had to ask them what was going to happen in this scene. I figured if anyone knew, it would be the visual effects team. They had to have this thing planned for weeks, right? Here’s the answer I got:

“You’re a technician in the devo chamber. It’s a de-evolution chamber, capable of evolving or de-evolving anything millions of years in a matter of seconds.”

“Uh…Okay.”

“Koopa is the main villain. He evolved from a T-Rex.”

“Uh-huh. Who’s playing Koopa?”

“Dennis Hopper. Basically, he gets mad at you and de-evolves you into primordial slime.”

“Jesus!”

I don’t remember which part of that answer I was responding to…Doing a scene with Dennis Hopper or being turned into slime. Looking back, they both generate the same emotional response.

After having my head covered in white goopy shit for a half an hour, I was ready to go home. They told me they needed me back in three days.

A few days later, I’m driving back down to the cement factory, but this time I’m bringing my wife with me. “You have got to get a load of this freakshow”, I told her. We arrived and headed over to wardrobe to put on my new work clothes.

Next stop was hair and makeup. This is when things got truly weird. My wife and I climbed into the trailer and sitting in a barber chair was Dennis Hopper, no eyebrows, hair slicked back in tailored rows going straight down the back of his head. He turned to see who had just arrived.

Now, sometimes when you meet people, you get an immediate gut feeling about them the second they look you in the eye. You either like them or you don’t; they’re either friendly or they’re not. The look that shot out of Dennis’ eyes was just plain creepy. If you’ve ever seen Henry Rollins on stage, you know the gaze. He could nail you to the back wall of the concert venue with that stare. The last time I saw Dennis Hopper come close to the look he had in his eyes at that moment was when he was telling Isabella Rossellini not to f**king look at him. But he wasn’t staring at me.

As I followed his gaze over my shoulder, I saw my wife’s face. She was absolutely terrified. I turned back to look at Dennis. He was locked on her like a cat on a bird. And I’m thinking, “Holy shit! Do they know each other?” I was half expecting him to say in a horrified whisper, “It’s YOU!!”

Just then, one of the hair crew broke the tension and asked him about his golf game. He blinked and turned around, carrying on a perfectly lucid conversation about his swing being off or something. It was like someone flipped off the psycho-switch on the guy.

They ask which role I’m playing and take a quick glance at me. Hell, I’m wearing a hardhat. How much attention to my hair is really necessary? As my wife and I start to leave, this short, stocky, brute of a fellow storms in, kicking and cursing like a cockney sailor. We take a couple of steps back to give the guy some room to vent when he looks up with a wry grin and a wink. It’s Bob Hoskins, pulling a fast one on the crew. As it turns out, he’s a really nice guy.

Finally, we get to the devo chamber. If you’ve seen the film (and I pity you if you have), you know the set. Decorated in pure white bathroom tile, reminiscent of the “TV Room’ in either of the Willy Wonka movies. I was beginning to feel like an Oompa Loompa with an overactive pituitary. I get my sides and we work out the blocking for the scene. It doesn’t take me too long to memorize them. No tricky words or “sci-fi speak”. In fact, I’ve read over it so many times, I’ve even memorized Dennis’ lines.

Which, we will soon find out, is a very useful thing.

Continue to Part II

Look Who's Linking!

2005-09-26T14:13:00.000-04:00

Last week, John August, a screenwriter who runs one of my favorite blogs, provided the less-than-six degrees of separation between him and the other screenwriting bloggers he links to from his site. Since I also link to those same folks, I thought I’d write a bit about each one myself.

Now, since John actually knows these people, his list is emphatically different in tone from mine. I’m just writing a bit about what drew me to those other blogs and why I check in on them regularly.

John August
The writer of several produced scripts (Go, Charlie’s Angels, Big Fish, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), John was the first screenwriting blogger I stumbled upon, and his site’s been a huge source of information for this budding screenwriter. He is quite modest (and a bit of a fellow geek) and is brimming with solid advice, which he gives freely. He also has mixed feelings about pictures of himself.

Man Bytes Hollywood
David Anaxagoras (hey, I spelled it correctly!) feels much like a kindred soul. A fellow aspiring screenwriter, struggling with rewrites, work and occasional self-doubt. (don't we all?!) One major difference, though – he's finishing up the UCLA grad MFA program, and has written somewhere in the vicinity of 12 screenplays. And he lives on the correct side of the continent.

I Find Your Lack Of Faith Disturbing
Reading screenwriter Josh Freidman’s (War of the Worlds, The Black Dahlia) site is like hanging out with a fellow writer at a local bar, ranting about stupid industry people, while knocking back few drinks. I’m not sure if Josh actually drinks, but I like to imagine he does on occasion. Probably rum and Diet Coke.

The Artful Writer
This blog is maintained by Craig Mazin (Rocketman, Scary Movie 3) and Ted Elliot (Aladdin, Shrek, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl) and not only has a plethora of writing advice and WGA news, it also features a great message board haunted by some really smart people. I really try to be one of them, but it’s no use.

The Thinking Writer
As a 12-year veteran of the business, Jon Deer (not the tractor guy) has worked jobs from mailroom jockey to producer. Plus, he’s an entertainment lawyer and loves to answer questions. Standard legal advice disclaimer applies.

Wordplayer
A vast knowledgebase of screenwriting wisdom. A great choice for the first place to check when you’re looking for the answer to a sticky writing problem. Run by Ted Elliot (see the Artful Writer description above) and his writing partner, Terry Rossio. Check out the columns. There’s gold in there.

Now, I’m not claiming that my blog will in any way stand up in quality to the ones I’ve mentioned. And yes, I’ll probably end up linking directly to their posts from time to time, thus contributing to the massive replication of content that links all blogs together in some way or another. They’re just really great sites. Hope you’ll enjoy them, too.

It's In the Cards

2005-09-23T12:32:00.000-04:00

Finally, after a few weeks of poking and prodding, slapping it around, I’ve finally come up with my first basically workable outline. At least it seems like it’s workable. (Not too sure about the cheesy-ish third act, though) I was kinda torn between whether I should even attempt an outline or throw caution and common sense to the wind and just jot things down on some index cards and play around with the structure that way. I mean, we’re supposed to use index cards, right? It’s almost expected of us.

Syd Field preaching about it in his books. Nick Cage sitting on the floor pouring over a sea of white rectangles in Adaptation. Index cards are simply a tradition among screenwriters. Shuffling story elements around in an unfathomable number of combinations, until just the right order reveals itself like the pattern to an impossible code rising out of the chaos. For some reason, I just feel like I’ll be a real screenwriter if I break out the cards and move them around like a blackjack dealer.

But, I’m glad I decided to go the outline route first. I’ll still put all the elements on index cards and try different structures. With an outline, at least, I’m getting all the ideas down in one place. Whether their current order is optimal remains to be seen.

Note Bene

2005-09-22T19:06:00.000-04:00

If you’re anything like me (and God help you if you are), you’ll be doing something completely ordinary and menial when the idea first hits you. The great “what if” story idea that has eluded you for months. It’s a spark so combustible that the basic plot practically writes itself.

Then you suddenly realize that this flash of entertainment industry brilliance is like most any other idea…so fleeting and transitory that you have to record it – NOW! Hurry up and get that shit on paper or on a voice recorder or something! C’mon, just drop what you’re doing and jot it down. You won’t remember it later. Hell, you won’t remember it in the next five minutes.

But what should you use? You’re nowhere near your computer. What’s the best way to record the nugget that might lead to your first bought and sold screenplay? Quickly, you consider the options:

Paper. Easy enough, right? But do you have paper on you right at this moment? Even if you did, you got something to write it down with? I can’t carry pencils in my pocket. Whenever I sit down, either the lead breaks or I get stabbed in the ass with the wooden hypo of black graphite in my jeans. Pens? Forget it. Pens leak and mess up clothes. Besides, I have children in my house. They eat writing utensils when you’re not looking and hide the ones that taste nasty.
PDA. You could write it down on a PDA. Palm, Pocket PC, whatever. That seems like a good choice. You’ll be writing on your computer anyway. You can just copy and paste that sucker and zoom, you’re off! But have you ever tried to write down anything on a PDA? I’m sure there are some out there who are true “Graffiti artists”, able to wield a stylus like a conductor. But, I’ve never been able to write so much as a sentence without having to go back and rewrite it twice as many times. I guess I should get used to doing rewrites, right?
Voice Recorder. Yeah, you could just grab the voice recorder and tell yourself your idea. Like some kind of self-pitching session. But before you do, look around. Are you surrounded by people? Now consider the guy jabbing away on his cell phone in front of you in the grocery store yesterday. Arrogant little prick, wasn’t he? You don’t want to be like him, do you? Of course you don’t. Anyway, you’ll have to listen to your own pathetic voice again when you transcribe this fantastic idea. And the more you listen to yourself ramble on, the less fantastic this idea suddenly seems.

By the time you’ve considered the options, the moment of genius has passed. The spark is gone and your idea, once brilliant, is now a rapidly fading memory as the current task at hand takes precedence. Or your four-year-old wants to start up a rousing theological discussion about whether bunnies go to a different heaven than people. Or the dog has just knocked over something in the kitchen.

My solution? The Hipster PDA. It’s a stack of index cards. What could be more perfect for a screenwriter?

Fade In:

2005-09-21T14:54:00.000-04:00

Before I kick off this blog, let me state right here and now a few facts to bear in mind as you pick through future posts:

I am currently an aspiring screenwriter…aspiring…as in, not yet paid for it.

Being an aspiring screenwriter, my experience in the professional realm of motion pictures is somewhat limited to my nearly non-existent past experience (more on that later) and the documented experiences of others.

Having only a small amount of personal experience in the business and having never sold a screenplay (yet…YET!), I am not qualified to dish out sage advice on screenwriting and the business of selling a screenplay.

In short, folks, don’t expect me to tell you how to do it. You’re welcome to follow my progress and watch me stumble along the way, but don’t look for the secrets of the force.

That said, a little about me…

I’m a husband, father of three (not counting the ark of pets around our house) and, not surprising in this business, an occasional actor. It’s this last hat that brings me to the miniscule past experience I mentioned earlier. I have only two entries on IMDB…one for Super Mario Brothers, which would provide more than enough angst for a whole other blog, and the other for a film called Deuce Coupe that has all but disappeared completely from the planet.

While I’m clawing my way toward my screenwriting goals, I bring home the bacon as a multimedia developer.

But here’s the best part…I live in Virginia. Completely opposite from the coast where I should be living. But that’s the challenge. And what’s the fun of reaching your goal if there isn’t a bit of a challenge involved.

Stay tuned and enjoy!