Thursday, August 09, 2007

Kill Your Television!

I just can't turn it on anymore. Someone else in my house has to do it. It's usually the children or my wife. This works out logically since the cat is unable to push the button.

But I personally can't turn on my TV. Why?


No, I'm not being existential or esoteric. Reality on TV is sucking all the joy out of watching it. I remember a time when primetime meant great stories, action packed drama; even the mindless sitcom or two was entertaining. But now, flipping the switch gets me any of the following:

Game shows
These have just gotten ridiculous. I'm not talking about the "put a bunch of people in a house and the last one there gets the money" game shows (that's another category)...I'm talking about real game shows, on a stage in front of an audience with lots of flashing lights. And these aren't anything like the ones from back in the day, like Match Game or Hollywood Squares or the all-time boss of all game shows, Jeopardy. Here's the basic premise: Let's put an incredibly greedy/annoying/spastic moron on stage and put them through the emotional ringer while we raise the jackpot (and the stakes), making said moron convulse in fits of emotional agony. I think that sums up most of them.

(Un)Social Game Shows
Box up a bunch of people together with the same goal (i.e. to be hired/married/funny/thin/beautiful/whatever) and sit back and watch them fight over it. Survivor started this one and every incarnation of the basic idea gets more and more insipid.

Talent Shows
America's Idol Got Talent. If I wanted to watch a talent show, I'd visit my local junior high school.

Real Life Shows
Every goober with a camera phone, right there on my TV. People falling over the dog, the Christmas tree falling on grandma, grandma falling on the baby...

Let me know when the second season of Heroes starts. Until then, I'll be reading a book.