Big in CZ

I don't know how the heck this happened, but apparently the folks at a movie listing site in the Czech Republic really like messing with cast lists. On their page for Super Mario Brothers, I've somehow made it to the top, showing up right behind Lance Henriksen.

After the hell that film put me through, this was a nice surprise.

Disorder of the Phoenix

I have to confess that until just a few weeks ago, I had only gotten as far as the fourth book in the Harry Potter series. My wife and eldest son, however, have long since finished the entire collection, including the seventh, The Deathly Hallows. So, since the latest movie, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, is based on the fifth book, I decided I'd better get cracking.

In the case of screen adaptations, personally, I prefer seeing the movie only after first reading the book. A few days back and forth to work on the bus, and I was done. I thought the story was much stronger than the previous four books, leaving me ready to see a very exciting movie.

Now, for the most part, the Harry Potter films have failed to disappoint me in their adherence to the structure of the books. And I'd hoped that this latest film would be no different. Although I also realized that there is a lot going on in the fifth book and the film would probably need to be a bit longer than the rest to fit it all in, my hope for a faithful adaptation was riding high.

Ah, the word adaptation...adapt..."to make something suitable for a new use or purpose; modify"

Modify.

Yeah, they certainly did that alright. They adapted the crap out of it. I don't know what the deal was with the filmmakers wanting to shave down the longest book in the series to make the shortest film of the series. I would've gladly sat through thirty more minutes if it meant a more faithful rendition.

The worst part about this hack job was that, in the interest of brevity, a number of key things were either left out or altogether changed. For instance: (WARNING: MAJOR BOOK & FILM SPOILERS BELOW!)

1. Quidditch. There wasn't any. None! No one even mentioned it. Who the hell wants to see a Harry Potter film with no quidditch? In the book, Ron joins the team (and is horrible), Ginny joins the team (and is pretty good), and Harry gets banned for life from playing.

2. Cho. Yeah, she's Harry's love interest, but she's no snitch. At least not in the book.

3. Baby-Headed Death Eater. This scene was so freaking bizarre in the book and it's a shame it's not in the film. I really hope it shows up as a deleted scene on the DVD.

4. St. Mungo's. Personally, I thought the gang running into Neville and his parents in St. Mungo's (in the book) was much more powerful than Neville calmly saying to Harry, "You know, Voldemort screwed up my parents. 'Preciate it if you didn't mention it." And Kenneth Branagh could've had a great cameo.

5. Battles. Dumbledore kicks ass in his office. The kids put the beat down on the Death Eaters in the Ministry. And Harry goes nuts in Dumbledore's office like a rock star in a hotel room. Too bad none of it made it into the film.

Overall, the movie felt disjointed and the scenes seemed to be connected only by the editor's hand. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't horrible. It just could've been so much better with a little more screen time.

This raises a fundamental question in screenwriting and adaptations. Does the screenplay owe anything to the original material? Not a lick. It's an adaptation. A modification of the original work. So it's okay to take a few liberties. But this is an insanely popular story franchise we're talking about, so it's gotta be just right. The first few movies nailed it. This one should've, too.

Syd Field Podcast

Actually, it's not so much a podcast as it is a short series of short conversations with Michael Arndt (Little Miss Sunshine) about the writing process, character development, plot turning points, and other interesting tidbits. These videos feature clips from Little Miss Sunshine and are quite insightful, mainly because Arndt speaks candidly about getting the script read, sold and being fired from the project (and subsequently rehired).

I'm not a huge fan of Syd, but I do wish he'd make some more of these.

Click here to grab the videos from iTunes.

Unfortunately, I've only been able to find it in iTunes. (There's also an audio version for all you nanos and shuffles out there.)

Kill Your Television!

I just can't turn it on anymore. Someone else in my house has to do it. It's usually the children or my wife. This works out logically since the cat is unable to push the button.

But I personally can't turn on my TV. Why?

Reality.

No, I'm not being existential or esoteric. Reality on TV is sucking all the joy out of watching it. I remember a time when primetime meant great stories, action packed drama; even the mindless sitcom or two was entertaining. But now, flipping the switch gets me any of the following:

Game shows
These have just gotten ridiculous. I'm not talking about the "put a bunch of people in a house and the last one there gets the money" game shows (that's another category)...I'm talking about real game shows, on a stage in front of an audience with lots of flashing lights. And these aren't anything like the ones from back in the day, like Match Game or Hollywood Squares or the all-time boss of all game shows, Jeopardy. Here's the basic premise: Let's put an incredibly greedy/annoying/spastic moron on stage and put them through the emotional ringer while we raise the jackpot (and the stakes), making said moron convulse in fits of emotional agony. I think that sums up most of them.

(Un)Social Game Shows
Box up a bunch of people together with the same goal (i.e. to be hired/married/funny/thin/beautiful/whatever) and sit back and watch them fight over it. Survivor started this one and every incarnation of the basic idea gets more and more insipid.

Talent Shows
America's Idol Got Talent. If I wanted to watch a talent show, I'd visit my local junior high school.

Real Life Shows
Every goober with a camera phone, right there on my TV. People falling over the dog, the Christmas tree falling on grandma, grandma falling on the baby...

Let me know when the second season of Heroes starts. Until then, I'll be reading a book.

Character Descriptions in Two Lines

Ever been stuck trying to introduce a new character? Okay, maybe not. Especially if you tend to take an entire paragraph to do it. But I'm here to tell you that it can actually be done in just one short sentence.

Yep. Once sentence...Actually, two lines in this case.

How am I so sure about this? Well, The Nails told me so over twenty years ago. The song was 88 Lines About 44 Women and it's a great example of concise character descriptions. Check these out:

"Reno was a nameless girl
a geographic memory..."

"Jeannie had a nightclub walk
that made grown men feel underage..."

"Jackie was a rich punk rocker
silver spoon and a paper plate..."

"Sarah was a modern dancer
lean pristine transparency..."

You get the picture. Just two lines and you instantly get a feel for what each woman is like. All they need are ages and they're pretty much good to go.

For most screenplays, this is quite sufficient for an introduction. As the story continues, however, it's the characters' actions and dialogue that fully uncover the essence of their personalities.

A Real Page Churner

You gotta love public transportation.

You save on gas, it's less wear and tear on your car, and since someone else is doing the driving, there's plenty of time to kick back and read, listen to music...

...and write. And write. And write some more.

In fact, in the past three days, I've managed to churn out fourteen pages of my first draft. Not too bad, especially when you factor in a eight to five J-O-B and four kids who are all involved in some kind of extracurricular activity during the week.

According to my guesstimate, based on my current outline, I should be able to set the overall limit to 110 pages. A nice lean spec.

But as I've been writing, something freaky has happened. The characters are reorganizing the outline. I'll get halfway through a scene according to plan and it's as if they're saying, "No way, dude. I would never say it like that." or "Hell, no...I'm not doing that!" I've heard other writers talk about this happening, but I have to admit, it's kinda spooky when it actually happens to you.

Anyway, to celebrate making progress, I've included the ubiquitous writer's progress bar on the right. And yes, the title (for now) is Left of the Dial.

Look for various scene snippets in the near future.

(Progress bar courtesy of David Anaxagoras. Check out his fantastic blog!)

I'm As Mad As Hell...

Why can't all TV news talking heads be more like this:



MSNBC's Mika Brzezinski refused to lead the news segment with the Paris Hilton jail release story. I completely agree with her statement and here's hoping more journalists (as well as those who think they're journalists) follow her lead.

Here's her explanation of what happened:

Getting Traction

As a fellow writer, you know that getting those ideas on paper really makes you feel like a million bucks. That being said, I'm feeling pretty damn rich right about now. I've finally completed the outline for this story which, until recently, I've been messing around with only in my head. So far it looks pretty solid, but then again, I haven't set it aside for a few days to ferment and allow the nasty bits to rise to the top. Normally, I would think that the next step would be to write out the scenes on index cards and shuffle them around a bit. But I think I've done all the shuffling I can do for now in the outline. It really just needs to sit for a couple of days.

After that, my next planned step after double checking the outline again, is to start cranking out a first draft. Just writing it out, getting it on paper. I'm not really concerned with massive amounts of quality here. Just words on paper. I mean, I'll gut-check myself as I write, but not too much.

Now, one of my previous posts mentioned Alex Epstein's excellent advice about coming up with a story premise with a great hook, querying the logline to some people, and actually writing it only if it garners any interest.

And it is great advice. Just not for this script.

This script doesn't have one of those mind-bending hooks that makes studios go nuts and dream of merchandising offers. It's just a simple finding-your-true-self story.

But if it turns out the way I have in mind, it's a script that could be shot for next to nothing. No special effects. No exotic locations. No weapon or animal wranglers required. Just a simple character piece that takes place in a North Carolina college town.

The only thing I can see standing in the way of it getting produced is music rights. Let's just say there's a LOT of music in this story. Music that mostly isn't heard much anymore, but is recorded and owned by record labels nonetheless. But it's crucial to the story. In fact the story literally revolves around it.

This is exactly the issue faced by the recent DVD release of WKRP In Cincinnati's first season. There's a great scene in which Mr. Carlson walks in on Johnny zoning out listening to Pink Floyd's Dogs. Unfortunately, it was cut from the DVD release because of music rights issues. Damn, I love that show.

Crafty Writers Query First

I just finished reading Alex Epstein's book Crafty Screenwriting and I have to say it's very different from other screenwriting "bibles". First, he presents his advice from a real-world, this-is-what-works perspective. Thankfully he doesn't dwell too much on proper structure or voice-over hating or his own personal act break philosophies. It's more along the lines of "if there's only three things you remember about dialogue, it's this..." Of course, there are more than three things he talks about on the topic of dialogue, but you get the picture.

Lots of great basic knowledge there. But, the one thing that seemed unusual to me was his advice to come up with the story's hook and a tasty logline, send out query letters, then wait for responses.

But don't actually write the screenplay yet.

Instead, base your decision to write what you have in mind on the kind of response you get from your letters. If you didn't get any bites, it could be that your story idea isn't compelling enough, so why waste time writing something that doesn't gather any interest?

Now, I know this contradicts what most of us know of the screenwriting process. You write something, then try to sell it, right? But, my big question about this was how long is an agent or producer who has shown interest in your story idea going to wait for you to write the darned thing?

I asked Alex this and here's what he said.

When I sat back and thought about it, the advice sounded pretty logical. If they wanted to see it when you sent the query letter, they'll still want to see it when you're done writing it. In fact, they probably won't even remember responding to your query letter, so when you finish writing and tell them, "here's the script you requested on March 12th", they most likely won't bother to second-guess you.

So, I think I'll try this for a couple of ideas I've been knocking around. Maybe that's the acid test I need to know which story to start writing.

Be sure to check out Alex's excellent blog, Complications Ensue!

Creative Screenwriting Magazine Podcast

Creative Screenwriting Magazine's Senior Editor, Jeff Goldsmith, is the most likable guy I've never met.

In his (usually) weekly podcast, he kinda comes across as the college buddy you used to hang out and down a few cold ones with. And his laid back demeanor definitely rubs off on the writers, directors, writer/directors, and producers he hosts in CS's post-screening Q&A sessions.

Take the recent Luc Besson Q&A, for example. Now, I don't know if Luc is naturally this witty and hilarious, but he was an absolute riot during Jeff's interview with him. That episode alone is worth subscribing.

The podcast focuses on the writing process -- everything from getting the initial idea on paper, to polishing the final draft, to getting your script seen, and finally into production. Working screenwriters tell their own stories of how they got started, as well as the stumbles they've had along the way. And the magazine has even more great stuff!

Soon, Jeff will give listeners another great reason to subscribe to the podcast. According to a recent email from him:

"Keep an eye out for [magazine] subscription discounts - I'll have a code for podcasters - it's definitely a good way to get the magazine and much, much cheaper - I'll be announcing it soon."

Can't wait, Jeff. If you haven't subscribed to the free (yeah, free) podcast yet, subscribe now through iTunes so you don't miss out on the magazine discount. To make sure you get new episodes automagically, click on the "Subscribe" button when iTunes comes up.

Creative Screenwriting really is a great magazine and podcast, so don't miss out!

"Nothin' Could Be Finer..."

There's a new filmmaking blog in the scribosphere and it comes from our southerly neighbors in North Carolina. In case you didn't know, there's a lot of shooting going on down there - and I'm not just talking about hunting season. North Carolina is currently a hotbed of film production.

Believe me, I should know.

CarolinaFlicks features everything from local casting notices, to upcoming productions, to book reviews. Hell, they even publish their own free shot list manager software.

Check 'em out at www.carolinaflicks.com.

Where The !@#% Have You Been?

That's what my blog just said to me. Yep. Sure did.

Here's what's been going on:

Writing. Writing sample material. Writing assorted screenplay notes. Writing an industrial training film.

Filming. This year's Mother's Day gift has been seen by over 540 people so far. Lots of fun making that one and only the baby got messy.

La Vie En Rose. Damn, I really wanted to write that one. Such a great story.

Launching a Blog. Not mine...not another one. This one's enough. It's my wife's blog. It's an in-your-face, no-holes-barred discussion about homeschooling and basically saying "up yours" to the public school system. We've been homeschooling our children since the day each of them were born and all of us couldn't be happier. Of course, much of the general public just don't "get" homeschooling, as evidenced by crap films like The Brothers Solomon. I could go on about this, but that's for my wife's blog.

The Best Shows (that were) on Television

I don't watch a lot of TV. In fact, most of what I watch is limited to news, CSI/Law & Order: Whatever and the rare peek at the underbelly of human existence on daytime chat shows. Apart from these and a few other choice pieces of programming (Lost, Heroes, House), there's really just not much that floats my boat on TV these days.

But some of the shows that were on TV...ahh. Now there's some quality storytelling. Too bad they're no longer around to grow and prosper like they used to.

Homicide: Life on the Street - This had to be the best crime drama on TV in a long, long time. Hell, the best show on TV period! Great well-developed characters put into always interesting situations. Granted, the steam started to run out when some of the cast did, but when it was hot, it was hot!

Arrested Development - The darling of critics and viewers; the red-headed stepchild of Fox. The funniest show I never saw (until it came to DVD).

The first couple of seasons of Law and Order (the original) - Grainy and edgy, it set the standard for procedural drama, but in the midst of getting slick and eventually switching out its entire cast, it lost its wonderfully gritty essence. Catch the first few seasons - pure gold.

Seinfeld - Hell, who isn't a Seinfeld fan? No new shows, but long live syndication!

Firefly - Every inch a great show. Fantastic writing.

Twin Peaks - This freak show was so good it still gives me the heebie-jeebies. In the words of Agent Cooper, "Damn fine!"

The Stress-Free Writer

C'mon...who're we kidding. Any creative writing endeavor is a breeding ground for stress and anxiety. Trying to fill that blank screen (or page for you typists out there) is sometimes so overwhelmingly daunting that you're left sitting and staring, your jaw slacked open, fingers drumming the desk to summon the Great Spirit of Writing to send you a sign.

More commonly known as "writer's block", this condition (much like the hiccups) has many reported cures. Personally, a walk around the block in really cold weather does wonders, but in case you don't have access to a block or cold weather, try some of the exercises at Language Is A Virus. Here are a few choice nuggets:

• Using phrases relating to one subject or idea, write about another, pushing metaphor and simile as far as you can. For example, use science terms to write about childhood or philosophic language to describe a shirt.

• Systematically derange the language: write a work consisting only of prepositional phrases, or, add a gerund to every line of an already existing work.

There are a lot of other goodies there, including some online writer's block toys (cut-up and slice-n-dice generators) and some insight from some of the greats. (mostly the Beats; Kerouac, Burroughs, Ginsberg, et al)

Check it out and free your mind!

Ten Rules for Suspense

Over at Thrillerwriters.org, Brian Garfield's ten rules for writing suspense fiction lay it all out for you. This is the list John Grisham credited with helping him craft his first bestseller, The Firm.

Here's a few to wet your whistle:

• Start with action; explain it later.
• Give the protagonist a personal stake.
• Give the protagonist a tight time limit, and then shorten it.

These are excellent guidelines and a must for any writer -- novelist or screenwriter.

This American Podcast

I know this is old news, but it gave me an excuse to post to my sorely neglected blog, so there ya go.

One of my favorite shows on NPR, This American Life, is now available as a podcast. Each week, the show features fantastic stories tied together by a common theme. And each week I listen, at least one of those stories makes me say to myself, "Wow! This would make a great movie!"

Check it out on iTunes!

Alex Haley and the Big Canoe

I don't know why I haven't posted this story before now, but it's a great example of point of view and the process of doing character research.

Back in college in 1986, I had the pleasure of meeting Alex Haley. He was in town on a lecture tour and agreed to drop by our playwriting class to hang out and answer some questions. We were all thrilled and eventually not disappointed in the slightest.

Mr. Haley was a quiet, gentle, and well-spoken man, who was eager to take the time to help us better understand the writing process in general. It was a very intimate setting, with only seven or eight of us sitting in the small Theatre Arts Department faculty lounge.

When the time came for questions, I was ready with mine: "What's the most important thing you've learned about researching characters?"

He looked up, thought for a second, and proceeded to relate the following anecdote:

When he was researching his most famous work, Roots, he did extensive study into the kind of ships that were used to transport slaves from Africa to America. The kind of wood used to build them, the rigging, the size and shape of the sails, the cabin and below-deck layouts. Everything. He said he spent close to six months exploring every aspect of the ships and became quite an expert on them.

Then, as he began fleshing out the character of Kunta Kinte, it occurred to him that since the beginning of the book is written from Kunta's point of view, all of the information about the slave ships was absolutely irrelevant. All Kunta knew was that the ship was a "big canoe". How the sails were stitched made no difference. It was a boat and it was big and that was it.

So, throughout the book, the slave ship is referred to as a "big canoe". Six months of research rendered useless simply by placing the story from the point of view of a single character.

We all immediately realized the importance of this lesson. For a character to be truly real, he has to know what he knows and nothing more. Except for the commentary in the DVD's special features, the screenwriter won't be doing voiceovers in a film to explain what the character is experiencing. The character's world has to work for the character first, then through the character's experiences, the audience will figure it out.

John August Gives Birth

John August is such a generous guy. And I'm not saying that just to butter him up so he'll read my script. He really is a generous guy. If you've checked out his site (and I highly recommend you do), you've gotten a taste of the vast amount of valuable screenwriting information there.

Now, John's decided to dig his pool of knowledge deeper still. He's just launched jaWiki, a Wikipedia-like compendium of wisdom for the aspiring screenwriter. Like the standard wiki model, it's a place where we can all contribute whatever we can.

He does warn that jaWiki is a bit unstable and could self-destruct at any moment. But, hey...we're not scared. We're tech-savvy scribes, right?

Fall Into High Gear

I haven't abandoned this blog. At least completely. I may have been AWOL for a couple of months, but rest assured I haven't completely forgotten you.

I think Lennon said it best: "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

That said, I've always felt that the crispy ambiance of Autumn is a great motivator. While a visible change is certainly in the air, the colored leaves and lowered temps always manage to spark an internal change in me. And this year, that change will be one of a re-commitment to my writing.

Yep, it's time to get serious again.

Our bloggin' buddy, Dave Anaxagoras, has re-committed himself as well, vowing to awake every morning at 6:30am to put in at least one non-interrupted hour of writing. And I'm with him all the way. I have the time in the morning, but I haven't been using it for writing. But now, Dave and I will be battling the page together in spirit. (by the way, gotta get me one of those progress bar thingys.)

Taking on this renewal of writing as a group really is a good way to approach the task. There's peer pressure involved and having a large number of people out there doing the same thing really imbues one with a sense of empowerment. The folks at NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) are gearing up for their annual (every November) "pledge drive" of sorts. Meaning you novelists out there are going to pledge to write a complete novel in just one month. And for us aspiring screenscribes, there's the 14-Day Screenplay. Even though their drive is already over (it ran Sept. 30 - Oct. 13), you can still participate on your own two-week schedule, using their tips and advice.

So, whaddya waitin' for? Let's get writing!

Samuel L. Jackson on a Phone

Okay, this is just plain creepy marketing.

Using this marvel of modern telecommunications technology, you can now have Samuel L. call your favorite victim friend and remind them in his ever-so-tender way that Snakes on a Plane is coming soon. Basically, it asks you some questions about the person and then peppers the movie promo with some personalized comments. He even says the person's name. Of course, I can't imagine Sam sitting in a recording booth, plowing his way through every name in the book, so I'm sure it's some kind of speech-to-text thing that does the trick. The best part (um...I think) is that when the call is sent, the number the person sees on their caller ID is yours.

Now, I can see some great uses for this if Mr. Jackson decided to loan out his famously intense verbal stylings to other phone reminder services. I can hear it now:

"Hey, John...Guess what? It's time to go to work. So, get'cho mutha-f**king ass outta that bed before I come over there, goddamnit! We cool?"

Enjoy and spread the word, mutha-f**ker!